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A river of tears down my cheeks they roll all in an effort to clear my mind and cleanse my soul. Thoughts of my sister and the fight she is in; the faith, strength, and determination she needs to win. I hear it in her voice, the struggle to stay strong; she tries so hard to act like nothing is wrong. I know her too well, the inflection, it’s there in her voice, she tries not to cry and then she has no choice. No longer can she choke back her tears; she breaks down crying and tells me her fears. Her hair is falling out in clumps with every touch. The locks and curls in her hands are just too much. She’s been through it before, yet wasn’t prepared. Losing her hair and going bald doesn’t make her scared. Looking sickly and weak is what she fears most. She doesn’t want to be stared at like she’s a ghost. She’s not looking for pity or to be treated different; She knows people will see she has cancer and pass judgment, staring at her, whispering, strangers feeling sorry for her. Instead, my sister wants to inspire others to be stronger. She sometimes feels her family doesn’t understand, they all want her to feel comfortable and walk around the house with her baldness exposed. She’s been feeling like their minds are somewhat closed. They don’t understand how sad she is feeling; It’s not about her bald head she’d be revealing, it is about feeling it’s her right to cover her head. She doesn’t want to worry or scare her kids is what she said. Crying and sobbing on the phone, asking me if it’s okay because she thinks she’s being selfish to feel that way. I tell my sister that she’s the most unselfish person I know and it’s HER decision to not let her bald head show. She’s doing it to shield her family and close friends. Her love and deep concern for us never ends. If I had one ounce of her strength and determination, I would be a much better woman; she’s my inspiration. She’s fighting her second battle in the war for her life, but she’s going to win the war against cancer because her faith is rife!
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