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Scampi in a basket Plastic palm trees A 70#s night club in Rotherham They called Tiffany's. Ever Friday night me and my mates would hit town Go on a pub crawl and then later Boogie on down. I recall how the girls would dance around their handbags Like it was some kind of fertility dance And we were out to pull a bird For some romance. We'd stand at the side of the dance floor Eyeing them up Trying to summon up some courage To go dance and chat them up But we needed more beer to sup. As the music blared and the lights flashed We soon emptied our pockets of cash The girls looked so pretty dancing just a few feet a way But to me at least It seemed that they were out of my league And it was as though they were a million miles away. Should I risk it and take a chance to go and dance Think I'll just have another drink first. Five drinks later and I still hadn't drunk enough To go and chat them up And off I'd stumble to the toilets for the twentieth time While all my friends were dancing And having such a great time. Suddenly I was drunk as a skunk and thought I was superman I'd stumble back onto the dance floor Trying to look cool like Bryan Ferry But tripping over the girls handbags An d looking such a fool As the room spun around and around But off to the toilet I'd have to again go Another drink on the way back and I was ready To chat someone up at last Bit the music had stopped And it was too late The dance floor was empty And most of the clubbers Had gone home And I was stood there swaying and falling about On my own. So Me and my mates would take a taxi home I'd be sick all over the taxi drivers back Always the same on the way back. When I got home the room began to spin The loud music still ringing in my ears I'd be so drunk I'd just fall into bed And wake up the next morning with a huge headache And rocks in my head. Never again I'd think to myself. I was sick my pockets were empty And had the biggest headache Didn't get a girl or get a date I might as well thrown my money down the toilet And hit myself over the head with a very large fish But we did the same thing every week And I couldn't wait. Peter Dome.Copyright.2015.May.
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