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I see… red splotches on her night gown still oozing down her face “I fell again.” She looks at us with that same wobbly smile “I’m Ok! Don’t worry. I’m OK!” I can’t see a clear liquid oozes down my face I see… Mama is dazed clutching her face Couldn’t light the stove fast enough An explosion We thought a bomb had hit the kitchen War time years Everyone running around Mayhem Mama burned her face “I’m Ok…I’m fine.” She tries to smile I scream I can’t see clearly watery haze of tears covers everything along with the smoke I see… Mama gasping for breath Mama going red in the face “Mom, are you ok?” Another coughing fit Can’t get the food to go down I pat her on the back I pray… Will this be it? Will she choke this time? Muscles that don't work I see I see I cry I scream Raspy voice Tears streaming down her face I’m…Ok…..I'm OK now." That lying smile Her hand goes up I can’t see Double tear vision Life is unclear I hear I hear “You’re afraid I’m going to die, aren't you?” I see Kind brown eyes Looking into mine They are filling up the wobbly smile is gone she lets her tears speak Oh….to talk to talk about it Release What can I say? What can she say? We feel We feel She crushes my body to hers Neither of us can see Blinded by tears I see Clouded eyes She’s in a place I can’t reach I shake I shake “Mama, can you hear me?” She tries I cry I scream ANGRY I SCREAM “Mama, listen to me!” “GOD? God…HEAL HER!!! HEAL HER! NOW! A miracle For ME!" I beg I plead I demand “Mama, do you believe? Jesus can heal you! Do you believe?” “Yes,” a whisper Almost inaudible I pray I can't see Eyes of mustard seed faith Shut tight “Forgive our sins! In the name of Jesus Be healed, Mama!” Eye lids fluttering open I see I see Mama is still on the wheel chair She’s bound…not free I don’t see anymore My head drops to my knees I get dizzy I drop things In the shower I fall Cracked ribs I cry I scream Alone I hear I hear “You have MS TOO! It has come for YOU!” I can’t see Shower water mixes with tears “God?! GOD? Do you SEE? DO you HEAR? DO you FEEL? GOD? I’m here! I’m….here! No wobbly smile No one to be strong for I'm not alright! See me! SEE....ME!" Eileen Manassian In dedication to her MAMA, Angel Manassian!
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