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unbeknownst to even you, the memory plays tricks to guard, the memory builds walls & the memory even blocks out & when the memory refuses to let you into what has happened, these things, these horrible things (or things that you might deem horrible, even if the present you isn’t away of your making this designation) disappear, as if they have never happened & the healthy you, the one that you believe is whole, upright & steadfast, may very well rely on this ability to provide amnesia & as long as it all stays silent, everything seems like it belongs that way---as long as it all stays silent, to you, the world makes sense & all the things that bring you harm or at least make an attempt at doing so in the present, seem manageable.
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