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Yes I live in the shame....I still really want to be famous, and I don't even know why anymore ...because's sound like easy swayed stands where everyone suggests "just sit..." ...Why do I sway? Why do I refuse to sit? Every second holds another thought of how to be ready for what I think is coming to me... but to get the yoyo to come to my hand I have to let it go first... Is that it? Is that the answer or a delusion? HERE AGAIN, why do I why? I make slides of every moment that I dream the dreams... before I put them inorder, I hold them them up to the light and decide if it should be used... but there's so many... And you're all lovely dears that bound over any obstruction with ease, and i hope that Im Bambi... hoping that I too can get over the fences and walls, and thru the scapes... Do I follow the herd, or do I hide in the brush and wait for your return? I can't jump as high as you... I cant run as fast as you... SO I ASK...Is skill and speed what I need to follow? many think it is... Now, Is that the answer or a delusion? I can hear you whisper "fame comes with discipline..." How do I find the place inside myself where discipline lives? Sounds like an urban legend to me...Actually, I think I'm gonna start believing in urban legends...I'll tell the stories...you love to listen even though you think they're not true... and I admire your belief, its so strong...it got you there...the belief got you to discipline... ...everytime I search myself for the strength to believe again, I dont find it and I mourn...and now my mouring never ends... ...but neither does my obsession for a large platform... ...this slave wipped by the obsession...but I love the force of the pain... ...hopefully it will get me to believe again....
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