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The Patient’s Lament You're lying in your bed Just trying to get some sleep You've taken your medication And you've counted endless sheep The guy that shares the room with you Snores so loud he wakes the dead You can't go over to shake him Cause you can't get out of bed Finally when you just doze off And sleep has come at last They wake you for your sleeping pill (Aren't hospitals just a blast!) It's 7:00 am when you finally crash And sleep has come your way When an aide shouts "good morning Here is your breakfast tray!" Then they prop you up with pillows So they can draw some blood But they hit the mother vein And it spurts out in a flood They get you out of bed So your blood doesn't clot But you sit there all day long Because someone just forgot! The coffee's just not drinkable The food...not fit for man or beast At the price that you are paying You expect a decent steak at least! Then one day you're feeling better And they get you out of bed Then they rush you out the door And give it to someone else instead They say that you're no longer ill You think it's just a plot Then they hand you the bill And you drop dead on the spot! The moral of this story Is never to be ill If the hospital doesn't kill you The final bill WILL! Copyright©2000 Beatrice Boyle (All rights reserved) For Tracie's Make Me Laugh contest.
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