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Mothers pride. Part one. "He never sees the light of day Or ever cuts the grass, He lies in bed all day Or just sits on his fat arse." "The toilet seat is never down He misses the damn bowl, Is up for half the night On that bloody games console." "He says" "This is my holiday" "As he awaits results, But I am sick fed up Of all that boys insults." "You will have to have a word He is your son as well, Tell him please to wash The little bugger smells." "There are dirty plates too many And cans beneath his bed, The room is just a tip And he thinks the Hoovers dead." "I am fed up with his laundry My handle has just flew You should count the T-shirts The little git goes through." "He never eats his meals No matter what I cook And if I tell him off He just gives me that strange look." "Enough it is enough It is no longer funny He thinks we have a tree That provides us all with money." "It is time he got a job Just like all his buddies, Instead of spouting Bull He needs this time to study." Part two. My results they all are in And I have done quite well, Mothers on the phone right now She has everyone to tell. So it is that my hard work Has got me into collage I"ll soon be on my way To gather up more knowledge. For I am Glasgow bound I leave home in September, I really cannot wait To become a student union member. All the family they all know So do all our friends My hard work really was worthwhile A means towards my end Part three. We sit alone together A silence both agree, Then Mother starts to cry Claims she will miss me. No more toothpaste top left off Wet towels upon the floor The naughty calendar The one I just adore Pinching Fathers beer The windows always closed Soft porn on the door With all that flesh exposed. Never making beds And all those dirty books Spending all that money To enhance my macho looks. Never doing chores And all my moans and groans Always wanting money For top ups for my phone. Then how proud she is Of her boy who"s now a man And she is so convinced I have a five year plan. My stomach does a turn My balls are in a press My throat is kinda dry I"m in a full distress. The penny it has dropped Dropped right in my cup, This boy has joined the ranks Of those who must grow up!
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