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She stares at me with empty eyes, tilts the bottle back, and swallows her pride. She forces a smile. She's so good at telling lies, one after another, building a wall. She needs something to hide behind. One more day just passes by. One more reason to deny. One more chance to face the demons she's been running from. One more promise that she'll make. One more promise that she'll break. One more lie she'll tell to make up for what she'll never be. She can't remember yesterday, tilts the bottle back as soon as she wakes, something to stop the shakes. Wish there was something i could say, but she learned it all from my own mistakes, because I did the same thing every day. She says she dont know how to change. And then I'm filled with so much shame when she reminds me everyday that I'm the one to blame. So I watch her as she drinks, and I dont know what to think, because I see myself with every goddamned drink that she takes. She's not trying to recover. What's the point in facing the pain when its easier running away. She dont need another lover. Alcohol gives her everything till theres nothing left for me to offer. She's not trying to recover. What's the point in loving herself when she's somebody else every day Maybe someday she'll discover how everything is perfect and new when she finally see's through sober eyes.
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