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Awaiting a growth spurt that never happened When a boy, I wanted to be as tall as my father (he passed away October seventh two thousand and twenty linkedin to congestive heart failure), who stood at his prime about six feet and two inches and tipped the scales close to two hundred pounds. Teachers and other familiar adults chimed in that though diminutive (yours truly, he unwittingly offered himself as the ideal scapegoat courtesy being longitudinally challenged, weighing no more than an ostrich feather, and hashtagged as "the quietest student," a flower child of the ninety sixties always kept mum every single day of school), would unexpectedly experience peak height velocity. Neither at ages eighteen, nineteen, twenty... sixty three, sixty four and sixty five bore witness to any added inches, which topped out around my sixteenth birthday approximately seventy inches tall and attendant weight a scrawny one hundred and twenty five pounds or thereabouts. Actually since graduating from Methacton High School two score and seven years ago, my weight ballooned an avoirdupois unit of weight divided into 16 ounces, and equal to 0.453 592 kilograms approximately forty plus times such said constituent parts first thing in the morning after eliminating evacuating re:excreting bodily waste. A preponderance of adipose tissue long since upended my once upon a time twenty nine inch waist. Slab of flab protrudes from ab - feel free to grab! What follows initially written quite some years ago when being skinny as a rail meant no meat on these lovely bones, thus hired myself out as scared crow, now excess adipose tissue thy foe losing battle partially explaining why knight spends inordinate amount of time in his grotto. Twas an incremental subtle expansion of waist plus olympic challenge to tie shoes most likely side effects of one or all nine prescription medications to stave off severe melancholy, social anxiety, panic attack, et cetera when yours truly merely prepubescent self starvation courtesy emaciated Anorexic skeletal ribcage traced (about two score and a baker's dozen years ago), now whereby most everything thy tongue doth taste immediately delivered a randy (new man) paunch to former washboard six pack smooth as a fresh application of gesso like paste readying fleshy canvass for partially nude self-portrait masterpiece (adjacent to barenaked lady) lived three doors down depicting mine once perfectly, (albeit one scrawny lad) proportioned body electric laced with flat as a washboard physique unlike present disk graced whereat when sending a photograph of shirtless self-try with futility utilizing photoshop to get erased displeasing equatorial zone of anatomy saddled with unwanted fatty tissue that defaced proportionate rock hard stomach one generic measly slender adult man about five foot and ten-inch build evincing an aura of being chaste gone forever analogous to temptation gobbling house constructed of cake and confectionery, that nearly did likewise to Hansel and Gretel readying their not quite plump enough bodies tubby slathered with baste, yet just in the nick of time the two abandoned minors actually removed courtesy children, youth and family services (CYS) under care of adoption in sync with spade work aced the sinister plot outwitting cannibalistic cackling croaking old woman inducing all to break out into song - singing the following tune I learned in grade school. Loose air into pipes and croon solo loud enough audible to man in the moon. Sarasponda, sarasponda, sarasponda rat tat tat Sarasponda, sarasponda, sarasponda rat tat tat A doray-oh, A doray-boomday-oh A doray-boomday ret set set Ah say pah say oh.
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