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I see now I may die at any time It will never change I do not need to fight I do not need to fear I can embrace myself in all of who I might cease to be Because Then I am free! I can think again I can stop feeling sea sick I can stop crying in frustration I can release the self blame and self shame I can adapt, stop running Now I can plan, plan to be responsible Now I may focus on how to live Live without guiltily tip-toeing in the waters of death Drawn to them because I cannot allow myself to think them through Yet must understand Because I am of them Because they flow through me Alongside the great rivers of life Now I can know that although the risk will always be high I do not need to live in a shadow I can improve, I can better my experience of existence But never will I be “fixed” Perfection is always impossible I thought I knew that It’s sneaky, the desire for perfection Shows up where you least expect it Breaks the machine every time Long live the real human
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