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Charles Schulz Peanuts character Woodstock Analogous to (being mine) security blanket similar, but not identical to the trademark one clutched by Linus Van Pelt, I take flight into sleep courtesy holding fictional little yellow bird, a mutual (of Omaha) best friend of Snoopy. While drifting off into dreamland holding tight to said stuffed animal, yours truly listens to the drip...drip...drip of wet clothes air drying on the rack. Additionally to supplement aural experience, I incorporate deep sleep music frequently binaural beats found thru youtube. Though ye (dear reader) might snicker at me (as if writer of these words heralds from Mars, or considered an alien creature from the outer limits of the twilight zone, where dark shadows flourish in tandem with mysteries of the Milky Way) regarding yours truly snuggling with an inanimate stuffed animal, I attest clinging for dear life to aforementioned stuffed toy. I frequently experienced profound social anxiety (mitigated courtesy prescription medications), and ofttimes feel like taking flight, as adrenaline courses (née rushes) and rattles these lovely bones of mine, particularly when yours truly finds himself within madding crowd. One hapless generic garden variety guy (me, an aging baby boomer formerly many scores earth orbitz ago, a long haired pencil necked geek) plagued with panic attacks since... birth experienced accursed lifetime psychological providence, where profound anxiety prevailed. Impossible mission to describe how fast paced life in general generates utter confusion analogous to floundering trout besieges mine mental redoubt seeping into crevices, then sealing nooks and crannies of psyche courtesy impenetrable grout emotional helter skelter all about as if mine entire body (eel) electric forced, kickstarted, subjugated... to perform (yes folks) hokey pokey mental gears and cogs snapping, crackling, popping inside tumbler like noggin purportedly linkedin hashtagged with said mild personality disorder punctuated with debilitating panic attacks, hence qualification clinched for social security disability. Onset of emotional paralysis ofttimes in the past stopped me dead in my figurative track metaphorically wishing me to skuttle back into hermetically sealed manhole invisible among interleaved bract where safe and sound within mine secret cubby hole also known as apartment b44 at Highland Manor in Schwenksville. While listening to natural soundtrack, frequently variation upon binaural beats, as iterated above or soothing relaxation by Peder B. Helland, an enjoyable youtube track I imagine playing knick knack paddywhack... as well as really idling away leisure time occupied with other favorite pastimes such as: playing solitaire, scrabble, reading – after qua cracking binding of newly purchased books, (usually at Liberty Thrift Store or Worthwhile in Collegeville) crafting poems, occasionally testing my chess skills pitted against computer, backgammon, as well as solve crossword puzzles meditate (on the gift of a watermelon pickle) to self hypnotize snapchatting, kickstarting, buzzfeeding biofeedback.
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