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Lament the clumsy stumble bum who bungles his debut By mumbling his monologue and missing every cue. He wanders freely off his mark and often flubs his lines. His timing’s unpredictable. His rhythm bumps and grinds. He hams it up like Barrymore and eats the scenery whole. His critics shame him endlessly, then eulogize his soul. But though the humbled imbecile stands slack-jawed center stage, He’s chosen best supporting actor this post-modern age. His talents prove sufficient in the arts of song and dance To stand him for election and provide him with a chance. So he shall be the candidate his party comes to choose. No matter how the voting goes, he knows he just can't lose.
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