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The funeral was well attended Nobody came It was sad in a way Clashed with the dog passing away There was a friend with a leg When I say a leg I actually mean two Though he had the flu The Priest nearly made it But he passed too The butcher discussed it with the baker In the newsagents where the notice was placed Was it his wife who put it in Well yes, to begin Then a black guy called Fred Placed another, hopefully dead Followed by Titch Who looked quite rich But was really his bit.. Not to detract from Simon Frowned the butcher, calling him pieman Though, that was simplistic The florist cried foul She had the contract But just for a while It was left to the undertaker Wade Who had to subcontract When thieves stole his spade Joe from the pub With the maths degree Discussed the angles Buried under a tree Bernadette, at the bookmakers Had to agree Rushing off to mass Father Joe listened with glee It was a trying day in the village of Dull The pub was in mourning There was a definite lull But one thing was agreed As they slowly got pissed Rover the dog Would surely be missed.
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