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Upon this floor I sit, huggin' the porcelain bowl; My stomach's tied in knots, Feels like I'm gonna blow! I should'a used my head, why didn't I ever think? Instead I hung around, to have another drink! One led to another, another led to more; Next thing y'know I was drownin' on the floor! My buddy was a savior, he drove me to my home; Pickled down in agony, I find myself alone! My mouth's a watery mess, the bathroom's in a spin; Sweat pours from my brow, right to my pointy chin! Dear God, can you help me?! I was such a fool; Can you pull me through this? please tell me what to do! For some apparent reason, God fails to show; Now I'm on my own, just thought I let you know! Uh oh!!...Here it comes!! Damn, that really hurt!! I missed the bowl completely, an' it's rollin' down my shirt!! My head's all awhirl, I'm passed out on my back; What started out as dim, is now completely black! I wake up in the morning, in a cramped lil' space; Something wet and slobbery just swept across my face! Boy, don't I feel stupid, like a caged lil' mouse; Someone dragged me from our bathroom and shoved me in the doghouse!!
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