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I met her, she had all the right attributes Petite torso, a smile so cute But I think she was incognito I visited her house, she turned out to be a fan of the Dung Beetle I pledged my love to her, and told her my heart she could save It all went sour, a three o'clock shadow revealed she needed a shave The Lionel Richie mustache and the ZZ Top beard It seemed out of nowhere to have appeared She said she was a Drill Instructor for the female Marines In my opinion with facial hair like that, male or female, she falls somewhere in between She says in her sweet voice, come shave me with a Schicks Quad Razor I tell her I've got to go, Baskin Robbins is coming out with a new flavor She is a Grunt so she trapped me in a snare She says I will release you after you shave my facial hair She said her skin is sensitive so she uses Edge Gel with Aloe I down a fifth of Black Velvet to try and mellow Now I grab the quad and approach the task at hand I am really confused here, do Iove her, or beat her up like I would a man She tells me, if you think I'm hot, you should see my cousin Judy She is the Drill Instructor who punishes those at K P Duty I smile and cringe at the same time At this point I realize the sun doesn't always shine This experience will never be revealed in a truth or dare To this day, I am still shaving her facial hair She is now hated by all the fellas Mostly it comes from being hairless and jealous Now she has really thrown the train off the tracks She showed me the shag carpet on her back
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