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They were forgiven for what they did not know they did Yet unlike those men I am aware He bled My inner being convicted by the things He said Knowing the truth that Jesus rose from the dead Still down wrong pathways I continue to be led Instead of reading the Good Book my mind with preoccupation is fed Instead of praying all day and before bed With insignificant thoughts my mind is wed Past present and future can’t be escaped, trapped in my own head You serve me Holy wine and with believers let me break bread Life is just my piece of the pie I get just one slice sure at times it’s nice Other times it’s a fake paradise I ask others for their advice how do they resist the allure of things that entice Fast cars women or dice are they men without vice Do they think clearly once when I’m confused each time more than twice For many mistakes I’ve paid a price Will Jesus thaw through my conflict releasing this heart That feels encased in ice? I look at my son blessed by my wife his mother Giving thanks for both to my Heavenly Father Still why oh why do I fight with my brother Relationships are so complicated sometime I wonder “should I even bother” Deep seeded feelings of anger dishonour I pray “Jesus please take my weakness You alone can make me stronger Shape me like clay for You are the Potter Lead me on the path of your sons and daughters.” Still my heart grows weaker maybe even harder For I live in the fear God has forsaken me Am I meant to be a branch on His tree I long to clearly see To have Him fill all the parts that feel empty deep down inside of me Will Jesus protect me from myself I am my most considerable enemy Is the wise dummy poet a priority What words will He speak into me Can I read between the lines words written to set me free or are my answers lost to history a pretend to be happy misery an isolated kinda cold conspiracy Only Jesus can reveal to me who He made me to be Jesus knows my inner thirst I long to make Him first Yet so many times the choices I make are the worst As I surrender to Jesus I feel the transformation Like a dam repentant eyes burst I know I am God’s forgiven child no longer cursed My thankfulness real no longer rehearsed Jesus satiating this inner thirst with His Love I am nursed baptized and immersed What I lack Jesus finishes I’m blessed by putting God first! For Chantelle Anne Cooke’s “Rising of The Son” Poetry Contest.
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