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When silence speaks

Somber clouds form - rain spits.  His mother clenches freshly laid soil, screaming his name. Three crows glare. His daughters, shivering, hold each other, their gaunt eyes, still sore from shock. Now there are no words, there is no explanation. His voice is no more. It's too late for regret. His sister wonders - how can it all be real. His brother, puzzled, ponders if he could have done more. He cannot protect him now - nothing will bring him back. His nephews and neices, hold hands, humming his song, remembering their 'smiley' uncle. A group of friends still 'wondering why,' take shelter as rain begins to plunge.. Simultaneously, they all turn their heads,  as a woman in a black veil, places a thorn less rose  upon his resting place and whispers " Goodbye my love, hope, you are no longer in pain." Clouds slowly clear - sun glows. A colourful arch appears.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




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Date: 5/15/2024 10:15:00 PM
This really did take me graveside & actually felt kinship w/those people. But one very dear to me committed suicide & this bore that . I think & your inspired lines, painting their picture, are comforting, to not be alone with ?s & grief. Thank you. Hugs, sally
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Date: 5/13/2024 11:44:00 PM
I really, really like this writing style along with the underlying meanings of this writ, especially the line "Goodbye my love, hope, you are no longer in pain." This line got to me. Have a good day, Hiba <33
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Date: 5/13/2024 2:54:00 PM
Interesting winner. Congratulations. Sara K
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Date: 5/12/2024 2:40:00 PM
SO, It's unfortunate that self-inflicted death causes so much distress. Your poem makes it very poignant. It's clear that the depression and difficulty people feel obscures all the pain that will occur. Anyone so afflicted with a death wish needs relief from pain through therapy rather than ending life. It takes a community willing to provide these resources.
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Date: 5/11/2024 11:51:00 PM
Amazing writing. I love this. Yes... when silence speaks. God bless you and Congrats. Love, Gina
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Date: 5/11/2024 7:03:00 PM
cause for silence indeed, SO. All the words in the world won't bring him back but then neither will silent lack of words. He deserves the honor of praise for the pleasant memories he has inspired throughout his lifetime. I like your piece, it is so very very real.
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Date: 5/11/2024 6:20:00 AM
I really like how your first stanza is so grim but the closing lines are the exact opposite, offering a glimpse of hope over what must have been a devastating loss. Sometimes there are no words...
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Date: 5/10/2024 4:44:00 PM
A blissful ending to one more tragedy, touching so many, I'm sure there are many of us who can relate with someone who was close to us. A winner!
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Date: 5/10/2024 2:43:00 AM
The beautiful way you have written this and the words chosen puts you right there in the thick of the scene. Highly emotive. What a fantastic poem!
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Date: 5/10/2024 2:29:00 AM
I love poems like yours that deal with emotions. Death is so final. But necessary. Great poem.
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Date: 5/9/2024 12:43:00 PM
Beautiful and sensitive, love the last stanza
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Date: 5/9/2024 4:53:00 AM
Highly emotive write, SO. I hear the sighs of regret from those who grieve now--I hear the silent voice of pain. Perfectly on theme, my friend.
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Date: 5/9/2024 1:32:00 AM
This death and funeral poem is so touching. From the reactions of the mother and his children, it is evident that he has been much loved while alive. The 'smiley uncle' was the favorite of his nephews and nieces. The last scene of a woman placing a rose at his grave and bidding him farewell is so moving. But the sky will clear and rainbows will appear. This ability of resilience in nature is a foreshadow of man's ability for resilience, once a death or an unforeseen tragedy occurs. A great poem dear Silent One.
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Date: 5/8/2024 7:34:00 PM
The intricacies of pain, loneliness, and the desire for solace are explored in your poems. A world where nature and human emotions harmonize in perfect harmony is brought to life through the reader's perception of the vivid descriptions. the poem "Silent One" is dark and moving. Your description of the funeral scenario was quite moving; it brought back memories of funerals I've been to, complete with the low-volume conversation, awkward silence, and reminiscence. Nothing was left out. The vibrant arch at the conclusion was my favorite part, and it gave me hope and calm. You did well for the contest,
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Date: 5/8/2024 4:43:00 PM
a somber and poignant poem Silent One. The imagery you painted of the funeral scene touched my heart in a soulful way and reminded me of funerals I've attended...the low volume chatter, the not knowing what to say or do...and the remembering. You captured it all. I loved the colorful arch at the end...left me with a sense of peace and hope...Well done for the contest, have a pleasant evening, Sara
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Date: 5/8/2024 3:16:00 PM
A variety of talk takes place. The setting goes from somber to colorful. You pull us into this funeral occasion. You’ve let us see how each person related to the departed, with a range of emotions: screaming, shock, regrets, and more. We don’t know what killed him. Great write! Hugs ~ Kim
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Date: 5/8/2024 3:03:00 PM
your take was also on mental illness/suicide, and it's a sombre, poignant one, but i like how it ends on a note of hope..should do well in the contest
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Date: 5/8/2024 2:15:00 PM
Yes, suicide is a terrible thing leaving people behind wondering if they could have done something to help them and how they could do such a thing. I had a cousin who blew her brains out with a double barrel shotgun when she was maybe 20 or 21 years old. We know some of the reasons, but there is always the wondering if we could have done something else. I was not old enough to have helped which hard on a young person as well. Thanks for sharing this one with us and for dropping by my page.Sara K
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Date: 5/8/2024 10:52:00 AM
Great poem. Nice imagery and deep thoughts.
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Date: 5/8/2024 9:05:00 AM
This is too heart wrenching and poignant! Poems like this makes me sad and tear up, its just sad! The whole imagery youv painted of a funeral, and goodbyes! Hits so hard and strong! “ His sister wonders - how can it all be real. His brother, puzzled, ponders if he could have done more. He cannot protect him now - nothing will bring him back. His nephews and nieces, hold hands, humming his song, remembering their 'smiley' uncle.” thats just sad , sigh. I hope this wont come true for a long time. And that you will have a long healthy life ahead. I think words are powerful and can manifest so much. And i know this is just a story but sometimes its freaky to read, especially about death. Best wishes for the contest. Youv written a very moving poem!
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Date: 5/8/2024 8:55:00 AM
Oh what a surprise ending. Enjoyed reading, Hugs my friend
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Book: Shattered Sighs