The Pit and the Pendulum

I think I found the prescription for the sickness behind my obvious problems Or I found the key that fits in the lock of the door of ignoring them I’m not sure which one it is But you’ve won, I’m tempted But am I exempted from my duties of holding down the fort when you’re dejected? You’re a hostage situation Feeling grounded, but my hands are tied and you say I’m imagining it But I must’ve threw the panic button out of reach and chosen to forget the password so even my fastest fingers can’t breach My words give you a scare I’m only asking what I need from you but your ears hear bloody murder Oh, the shy screaming from the skeletons of sentences, sending shivers Currently healing, but I have time for another beating Your best shot wouldn’t even phase me I’ve been in the ring with my own brain False hope and a single memory have created all these blood stains It’s not even a ring anymore It’s a crime scene clean-up without the caution tape I know all of it’s tricks, yet still, I leave with a concave face A collector of welded heart strings? Or a hoarder of codependent projects with too much detail? I act independent, but you’re the wind and I’m the sails I’m pressing buttons but you’re not on demand I don’t want to have to find you through the tunnel I threw my flashlight into It’s hiding in the darkness like the panic button you say I discarded What’s an earthquake called on my created planet? You still have glue leaking from your edges, but you wouldn’t say you were a broken project I upgraded my service, but you’re still not on demand I'm living in the Las Vegas of my mind Everything that happens within, Stays in the limits of my peace-seeking realm Your opinions are monstrous But are my takes post-apocalyptic? And you wouldn't say you were broken hearted But a paper shredder and three emotionally drunk years later, here I am, never blushing harder Sometimes I sit with myself And think about what would've happened if you said yes These inconsistent metaphors and rabbit holes I get caught in But who saves the lifeguard when it’s time to sink or swim? And I left the porch light on, But in an attempt to highlight the crickets when they confer with the moon and tell my thoughts to back down Before they fight my internal clock and lose But who saves the lifeguard when it’s time to sink or swim In your body of tears, are we talking puddle or monsoon? I can’t help but sit with myself And think about what would've happened if you said yes Sometimes I sit there and ponder how everything would have collapsed Had you said yes But who saves the lifeguard when it’s time to sink or swim In this limitless lagoon of tears I’m always waiting and wading in?