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The Empty Room

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June 8, 2024

~ Third Place ~
Premiere Contest: Your Absolute Best Poem Ever
Sponsor: Tom Woody

~ First Place ~
Contest: The Empty Room
Sponsor: Craig Cornish


 

Alone the bones of the room bear no weight of responsibility nor does it bare its breast of secrets a broken pane provides a breath with a pang of lavender a wistful inhale inhabits the lungs of this space as the room tries to embrace oh embrace the breathing breeze to squeeze a semblance of life into this place but the breeze a gypsy whisper-warm needs freedom to come and sweep sun-dust up into swirls of pinprick-stars... then go not beholden to bones stoic and standing nor to dust stranded midair to fall in despair abandoned with less a good-bye as bygone laughter and lullabies are held on lath-tongues behind horsehair plaster walls but mute memories mingle in dust like fireflies in dusk; her suckling coos rocking chair nights plashes of mud-puddle tears —a colored canvas that minions of time would rather gesso white in its bones the room remembers its worth as a womb nurturing a baby’s breath neath blue-skin-skies where rows of purple grow till Mistral wind blew cold and flew her lavender soul far from home oh the loss of life —wind-crashing-seas-onto-rocks— loss of life skeleton ribs of the crib stripped of her lavender sprig loss of life

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




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12
Date: 2/10/2025 4:04:00 AM
dear Susan: I am in awe. This view of an empty nursery after the death of a baby is an amazing piece of writing. Congratulations dear poet friend.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 2/10/2025 9:29:00 AM
Dear SuZ, I'm truly touched by your response to my poem. Thank you for sharing in the mournful moments with me and the empty room. Your kind congrats and soulful presence here fills me with appreciation. Warmest wishes my poet friend.. ~Susan
Date: 2/6/2025 9:48:00 PM
Dear Susan, poetic soul, i must say this poem left me feeling so much as always and more than anything, i admire your wordplay and creative nature of writing especially in phrases such as "swirls of pinprick-stars" " mute memories mingle in dust like fireflies in dusk" "oh the loss of life —wind-crashing-seas-onto-rocks— loss of life " you always weave words in such a descriptive manner , and i cant help but be in awe! And the depth of what youv conveyed here , your readers can grasp and feel. Congratulations on your top win! Well deserved! Sending you light always
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Susan Ashley
Date: 2/8/2025 8:01:00 PM
Dear Ink, my soulful poet friend, your visit brings me much delight! I'm gratified and appreciative to receive your beautiful comments. Your heartfelt response to my poem inspires me. Thank you for your kindness and for your heartwarming congrats. You are wonderful sweet poetess. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Date: 2/4/2025 4:27:00 PM
Susan, all your masterful devices were in play as you composed this masterful verse. Congrats on your win, your writing only gets better. GG
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Susan Ashley
Date: 2/5/2025 12:19:00 PM
Dear Greg, thank you for your heartwarming comments and kind congrats. It's wonderful to hear from you as I admire your poetry so. It's an honor to share the podium with you, my poet friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 2/4/2025 8:37:00 AM
Hey Susan, this is a beautiful poem with a lyrical rhythm, but once looked deeper, the heartbreaking implicit meaning greatly saddened my heart. I cannot hope to imagine just how sorrowful losing a child can be. I hope God Gives you the strength to go on, and I hope you can meet the little one in heaven. Much love, Hiba.
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Hiba Junaid
Date: 2/7/2025 10:17:00 AM
I do not know how to reply to you specifically as there seems to be no option for it but thank you so much Susan for your compliments that I hold very close to my heart. You are an artist crafting masterpieces free for us to read. Also, I am relieved to hear it is not autobiographical! For the people for which this is a reality, I hope they find peace and be reunited with their loved ones sooner than they think.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 2/5/2025 12:25:00 PM
Dear Hiba, soulful poet, it's an honor to share the podium with you. The expressive power of your poetry is impressive and beautiful. Thank you for your lovely comments, they are received with joy and appreciation. I'm so gratified to know you felt the sorrow in my verse. Your heart is full of the beauty of empathy. Thankfully, this poem is not autobiographical.. but like you, my heart goes out to parents who have suffered the loss of a child. Warmest wishes my poet friend.. ~Susan
Date: 2/3/2025 11:46:00 AM
I think I remember this one. What could move our hearts and stir our emotions more than a grieving mother missing her little one? And you're writing is just always so superb Susan. Congrats on your placement. It's no surprise Craig found it to be a top-notcher as well
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Susan Ashley
Date: 2/4/2025 5:38:00 AM
Dear Tom, thank for your heartwarming words and kind congrats. I’m honored by my poem’s placement in your prestigious contest. It’s also a thrill to be included among the gifted poets on the podium. Your contest sponsorship is appreciated as is your friendship in poetry. Warmest wishes.. ~Suze
Date: 9/12/2024 10:32:00 AM
Susan, reading this beautiful poem instantly reminded me of Rainer Maria Rilke (my favorite German poet). Many of his poems delve to the "inner substance of a thing", what in German is called "das Ding an sich". Surprisingly I too have written a poem about a room. I will be reading your work with renewed interest. / Maurice
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Susan Ashley
Date: 9/12/2024 7:15:00 PM
Dear Maurice, your time spent with my poem is sincerely appreciated. I treasure your thoughts, indeed, I feel honored to receive them. Thank you for sharing in the emotions and imagery of this poem with me. I am not familiar with your favorite poet, Rainer Maria Rilke, but I will have to research his work now. Your poetic presence is inspiring and I’m grateful for your wonderful visit. Warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Susan.. P.S. I will have to look up your poem about a room too :)
Date: 8/3/2024 8:06:00 PM
Sadness now rocks the cradle... Awesome penning, per the S.A. Gold Standard, my long-lost friend. Bravo! ~ Gershon
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Susan Ashley
Date: 8/25/2024 8:11:00 AM
Dear Gershon, wonderful poet friend, please accept my apologies for my late reply to your awesome comments. Thank you truly for your gracious visit. Your thoughts are treasured and inspiring. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 7/2/2024 7:01:00 AM
Very nice and expressive, perfectly composed on your poetic touch. congrats and love.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 7/2/2024 5:25:00 PM
Dear Anisha, thank you for your thoughtful comments and kind congrats. They are sincerely appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/30/2024 5:18:00 PM
I Read this Twice because I love how I can imagine myself there with your imagery, " in its bones the room remembers its worth as a womb." .... This abandoned place, once full of life seems like a serene place to hide and be alone with memories just for a sentimental moment. So Beautiful!
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Susan Ashley
Date: 7/2/2024 5:29:00 PM
Dear Carlene, your time spent with my poem is sincerely appreciated. Thank you for sharing in the emotions and imagery of this poem with me. Your thoughts are beautiful, they are a joy to receive, I'm honored, my friend. warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/30/2024 9:38:00 AM
Susan, you make a wonderful point. Things change and inhabitants and associates leave us. We only hope it works out well for all involved, but there surely is a sadness in passage of time and events that you capture with poetic elegance.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/30/2024 5:59:00 PM
Dear Duke, your wonderful insights are a pleasure to receive. Thank you for sharing your esteemed thoughts with me and for sharing in the imagery and emotions of this poem too. Your kindness is held in my truest appreciation. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/26/2024 5:51:00 AM
love the sensitive way you handle this heartbreaking subject, my friend - as always, with your poetic excellence
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/27/2024 6:32:00 AM
Dear Jack, your poetic presence and inspiring comments are as uplifting as they are empowering. Thank you my dear friend for your gracious visit. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/19/2024 11:48:00 PM
Good poetry is one that leaves a mind boggling impact before it is fully understood and keeps growing, with its meaning never exhausted. If so, your poetry falls into that rank. Dear Susan, you stand head and shoulders above the average poets like us. Your empty room breathes of life, loss, wistful longings and a sense of undefinable pain. The diction and choice of words resound the emptiness of that room where 'mute memories mingle in dust like fireflies in dusk'... ! I can only stand in awe of your poetic prowess. Congratulations on your win. Let more trophies clutter the attic of your poetry page. Into my FAVE.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/23/2024 5:17:00 PM
Dearest Valsa, poetess extraordinaire, there is nothing average about you or your stellar poetry, your golden artistry shines like the summer sun. I'm proud to stand shoulder to shoulder with you, Valsa, and am humbled and honored by your generosity and kindness. The beauty of your comments thrill my heart and fill me with appreciation, as does the distinction of your fave. Thank you for your glowing poetry friendship and for your heartwarming congrats. Warmest wishes, my sweet friend.. ~Susan
Date: 6/14/2024 5:58:00 AM
Dear Susan, I have read and reread this masterpiece and yet I feel I must be misreading it. I keep on imagining a 'still birth". Whatever you were thinking about and tried to convey to us comes across as a rich, evocative poem about loss, memory of loss and the passage of time. Wow you wow me each and every time I read any of your poems. Huge congrats on most merited win.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/14/2024 6:38:00 AM
Dear Sean, I'm humbled, honored and elated by your valued comments all at the same time! Thank you for sharing in the emotions and imageries of this poem with me. Indeed, this poem is about loss. I was thinking about the loss of a baby, (it could have been a stillbirth) who brought joy to a family, but then was tragically lost in her young life due to unforeseen circumstances.. a childhood illness during her first year of life. The empty room was her bedroom. I feel the house has now been abandoned by the family that finds it too painful to remain where such a loss is magnified over time. Also, in my mind, the time period is early 20th century, in France, where the lavender fields grow.. such is the landscape of my imagination :) You wow me with your poignant and pensive comments. I hold your precious thoughts and kind congrats in my deepest appreciation. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/13/2024 6:58:00 PM
Susan, A poignant write which shows how an empty room evokes emotions, whispering memories on the wind, Best wishes
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/14/2024 6:22:00 AM
Dear joseph, thank you for your wonderful visit and thoughtful comments. They are sincerely appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/12/2024 12:27:00 PM
Susan, Dear friend, Dear poet your poetry excels and touches the heart, Congratulations on your 1st place, well deserved, and another masterclass in writing poetry, my dear poetic friend...Frederic
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/13/2024 5:53:00 PM
Frederic, dear friend, dear poet, I'm elated by your wonderful response to my poem. Thank you for sharing in the emotions and imagery of this piece with me. Your comments are a joy to receive, I am both humbled and honored. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/12/2024 7:12:00 AM
Susan, a huge CONGRATS on your well-deserved top win with this descriptive masterpiece! The sense of loss is beautifully and vividly conveyed. Janice
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/13/2024 5:50:00 PM
Dear Janice, thank you for your wonderful comments and kind congrats. Your gracious visit is truly appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/11/2024 5:06:00 PM
As always you manage to stir emotions, thoughts, reflections and make us pause in meditation (I'm convinced you revel in making us think deeply until it hurts). Congrats on your well-deserved win Suze
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/12/2024 11:33:00 AM
You too my friend:)
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Tom Woody
Date: 6/11/2024 7:03:00 PM
I knew you had a sense of humor! Have a great week
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/11/2024 6:43:00 PM
Dear Tom, if you think your head hurts when reading my poems, you should be inside my head when I'm writing them! Haha! It's always great when your presence graces my poetry page. Thank you for your wonderful comments and kind congrats, I'm deeply touched, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Suze
Date: 6/11/2024 2:33:00 PM
Susan, it is an honor just to read this! Extremely touching. Congratulations
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/13/2024 5:37:00 PM
Dear Sally, I'm inspired and honored by your valued comments and warm congrats. Thank you for your gracious visit and for your kindness. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/11/2024 2:08:00 PM
this is pure art! i read it before and knew i was looking at a 1st place poem..i don't really think there's such a thing as a perfect poem, but this surely comes as close as possible to it..congrats on your well deserved win!
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/13/2024 5:34:00 PM
Dear Charlotte, thank you! You know I hold your poetic masterworks in the highest esteem so to read these words from you lifts my spirits to the heavens! I'm humbled, honored and elated to receive your precious comments. Your kind congrats are appreciated and your poetic presence is cherished. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/11/2024 11:44:00 AM
Susan, Congratulations on your win! The last two lines are most memorable.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/13/2024 5:27:00 PM
Dear David, thank you for your gracious visit and wonderful comments. Your kind congrats are received with sincere appreciation. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/10/2024 11:03:00 PM
Geez... I'm NOT a poet. THIS is poetry! I love to write and share my thoughts, ideas, feelings, emotions.. so I will because I'm compelled. But writing like this is on another level and speaks to us on another level, spiritual perhaps, or soul to soul. I can't even begin to pick at the layers and nuance in this masterpiece. All I can do is feel it on a spiritual plane (plain?) And know that it inspired me. Xoxo
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Crystol Woods
Date: 6/16/2024 5:41:00 PM
You're right... and I didn't intend to fish,I was truly in awe right after reading this. But we are all poets, simply different and growing. Thank you for the reminder and generous reply! <3xo
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/13/2024 5:48:00 PM
aww, thank you Tom! You're way too generous and kind. I appreciate you, my friend. Your poetic pen is truly awesome!
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/13/2024 5:44:00 PM
Dear Crystol, please don't ever say you are not a poet. Your poetic soul shines in the liquid gold your soulful pen spills. The way you express your thoughts, ideas, feelings, emotions IS beautiful, tender, reach-down-deep-to-touch-the-reader, poetry! Thank you for your amazing comments that inspire and move me. I'm humbled and honored by your precious thoughts, and I hold you, dear poetess, and your lovely words in my truest appreciation. Warmest wishes my friend.. ~Susan
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Tom Woody
Date: 6/11/2024 5:04:00 PM
Susan is one of our very best!
Date: 6/10/2024 7:25:00 PM
A tremendous write, Susan dear, another level, absolutely captivating, a fav. Warmest congratulations on your top win in Craig’s contest
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Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/13/2024 5:24:00 PM
Dear US, your lovely response to my poem brings my appreciation and elation to another level. I'm so glad to know my verse captivated your emotions and imagination. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts with me. I hold your kind congrats and the honor of your fav in my sincere gratitude. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/10/2024 5:32:00 PM
Congrats on your fine win, Susan!
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/12/2024 6:10:00 PM
Dear Nette, thank you for your wonderful visit and kind congrats. Welcome back! Your tender artistry has been missed. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/10/2024 2:02:00 PM
Dear Susan This poem is a work of art. The imagination of a broken window pane bringing in lavender smell into the room, dust like fireflies, the loss of life so cleverly repeated… an art and for many to learn! Brilliant!! congrats on your trophy win!
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/12/2024 7:01:00 PM
Dear Krish, I am truly touched, humbled and honored by your amazing response to my poem. Thank you for sharing in the emotions and imageries of this piece with me. Your inspiring thoughts are as wonderful to receive as are your kind congrats. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/10/2024 1:35:00 PM
Sue, what can I say...except - this is so very special amongst very special poems--the best I've seen in a while - be proud here but you seem to write many of the same elite writes! No surprise!
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Susan Ashley
Date: 6/11/2024 6:49:00 PM
Dear Craig, I am truly honored by my poem's placement in your esteemed contest and I am humbled by your kind words. It's such a pleasure to share the podium with so many gifted poets/poetesses. Thank you for the creative opportunity to write for your inspiring contest. Such a great prompt! Your sponsorship is appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
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