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Swimming in Grief

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March- 22- 2025
Swimming in Grief Poetry Contest
Sponsor- Sara Jama
~ Placed Fifth~

 


 

The grief I carry is so heavy None can sense the weight I feel in my chest. It is crushing me, I feel it in every breath I take, And in each step, I totteringly make. From my heart, all sweet songs are stolen In my ears, fall a dull, hollow resonance Where ever I look, I see only an obsidian hue. My mind has become a wild labyrinth, Where phantoms dance a macabre dance. When I look at the sky, I see, A pallid moon with a paling gleam. My mind has become a sepulcher, Where broken dreams are buried. My spectral frame can no more, endure the aches That surround me and draw me in Like a black hole so dense. I feel I am pulled deeper in and can’t free myself. Now sleep eludes me and it is far from my grasp All I feel is a burning ache, an incinerating pain! There was a time when my laughter Reverberated within the walls of my house I don’t know when anguish took me unaware Like a slithering python, coiling and unwinding, Hungry and angry, tightening its deadly hold on me, Cracking my brittle bones, one by one. When agony like an ever- swelling current sweeps over me I desperately stretch my limbs to swim to a safer shore. Like a dazed baby, kicking and squirming In a desperate bid to save himself from drowning, I try in vain to get out from sorrow’s depths.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2025




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Date: 3/24/2025 1:36:00 PM
Dear poetess Valsa, this beautiful poem delves into the depth and overpowering nature of sadness, portraying it as a heavy load that isolates the speaker and distorts their view of life. It depicts the conflict between despair and the yearning for comfort, demonstrating how intense sadness can swallow a person's life. The poem also explores issues of sadness, loss, and the psychological effects of grieving. It depicts the mental and physical toll that melancholy takes on a person, as well as their internal struggle and desire to escape pain. The poem's language is descriptive and vivid, with the speaker's anguish conveyed via strong imagery and metaphors. The words "heavy," "crushing," "obsidian color," "sepulcher," and "incinerating anguish" highlight the weight and gloom of their feelings.
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Date: 3/23/2025 9:10:00 AM
Dearest Valsa, so happy to return with my heartiest congratulations for your success in Sara's contest, and so honored to share the podium with you, my golden pen friend. This creation is exquisite in its expressive grief. Your stunning poetic artistry shines! Warmest wishes, my sweet poet friend.. ~Susan
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Date: 3/23/2025 8:50:00 AM
Congratulations, dear friend, on your placement in this poetry contest with a poem that touches the heart and brings one to the point of sobbing. I had written a poem on this prompt, but due to some personal commitment, I could could not get it typed. Probably, I will share it on PS subsequently. May the blessing of the lord ever rest with you.
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Date: 3/22/2025 11:36:00 PM
Did this one get a win? It sure deserved one!
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Date: 3/22/2025 10:37:00 AM
Great poem. Hopefully, you are not swimming in grief.
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Date: 3/22/2025 10:18:00 AM
Dearest Valsa, soulful poetess, your poetic artistry paints such a poignant yet potent portrait of grief and the loss of oneself to "sorrow's depths". Your imagery and metaphors are rich, vivid and emotional, yet tender touches of alliteration add sparkle to the dark mood - making this aching heartbreaking piece enchanting. I adore your creative take on this theme. Composed with exquisite finesse, my sweet friend. Best wishes for the contest and warmest wishes for you.. ~Susan
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