Get Your Premium Membership

Ripples- New Form

Poet's Notes
(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Valsa George.


June. 21. 2024. The first poem Ripples was written and posted earlier in free verse. The same poem with the title Kindness is the changed form turned into Rhyme, for the contest sponsored by Crystol Woods.

Ripples
Down the dusty road, in tattered rags, He came, weary, wilted, and withered. Body bent with age, bones sticking out of the flabby skin, with a tremor running down his limbs. With eyes reflecting hope, he waited at my doorstep. No words came out from pursed lips but, in mute language begged for alms, hopeful he would never be betrayed I held his shriveled hand, helped him ascend the steps. Like a child obeying it’s Elder, he sat on a chair in the patio. The sumptuous fare, served before, he surveyed with eyes bulging out in utter disbelief, and greedily devoured every bit of morsel. A rare gleam lighted up his face. With hands folded in benison he stood up and silently took leave. I watched him stumble along the country track and fade away in the distance. Ripples of joy stirred my mind in ever widening circles as, a pebble idly tossed causes ripples in still waters over a random act of kindness idly tossed !
Kindness Down the dusty road, in tattered rags he came- An old man- weary, wilted, and withered. Supported on a stick, still he staggered lame, And with age and fatigue, his body quivered. I could see a tremor running down his hips. With expectant eyes, he waited at my doorstep. No words came out of his pursed lips. He was tottering as he took each step. I held his hand, helped him to the patio. Like a child obeying its elder, he sat on a chair With eyes sending out a radiant glow, From the sumptuous fare served, he ate his share. As he finished his meal, a gleam lighted up his face. He stood up with hands folded in benison And took leave, bowing and smiling in grace. I was so happy that I could make his world blazon. I watched him stumble along the uneven track And fade away like a shadow in the distance. So elated I was that the tears of joy I couldn’t hold back, With an ebullience penetrating my mind’s outer surface. As a pebble idly tossed cause ripples in still water, A random act of kindness idly tossed gave me such delight. As the ripples keep widening and on the banks splatter, In me, the joy over my kind act, as waves began to beat.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 6/25/2024 2:19:00 AM
You certainly have a beautiful character, Valsa! Showing kindness to others is most commendable. Both your versions are good, though I have a soft spot for the ripples of joy as expressed in the 1st one. ~ Best regards // paul
Login to Reply
Date: 6/23/2024 2:09:00 PM
Two poems that are significant in different styles. The worth of kindness shines through both.
Login to Reply
Date: 6/22/2024 10:07:00 PM
This is wonderful,, Valsa. I like it both ways. Let's see if my comment stays even when error 550 shows.
Login to Reply
Date: 6/22/2024 6:40:00 PM
You're a good storyteller too Dear Valsa. This is very lovely. Kindness is the rock of a man. It brings so much delight because it is what makes us human. It is what reflects Christ on us. And sometimes we might be too much, too kind, too hurt but we can never stop because unseen miracles happen without our knowledge and it is from our kindness. Keep changing the world around you with it. Cheers.
Login to Reply
Date: 6/22/2024 2:36:00 PM
Both versions are Amoy to read.A wonderful act of kindness you did for that old weary man Valsa, the world needs more kind folk like you… Beryl
Login to Reply
Date: 6/22/2024 9:13:00 AM
I enjoyed reading both of your Wonderful writes. "Good Luck" in the contest. We both did this one. Have A Blessed Day/Weekend Writing Away.............
Login to Reply
Date: 6/22/2024 7:08:00 AM
This made me feel so much dear kind and sweet valsa! You have such a beautiful heart which can be seen again through this poem too; and how clever of you to change the poem to another form but maintain same content as the original poem: i love so many lines in this but the ending is soulful! How kindness can make someones day better and brighter can be felt as i read this poem! May this world be full of kind souls like you that would stop and offer some kindness to those in need! Best wishes! Another fave from you
Login to Reply
Date: 6/22/2024 5:36:00 AM
In this case, free verse peaks my interest more than the rhyme. I can feel the first verse, set up like a road. Interesting to see poems written two different ways. I started one of these but was not pleased. I may try another. You know how it is. Nicely done!
Login to Reply
Date: 6/22/2024 3:40:00 AM
Reads like a good contender for the contest. Way to go. I enjoyed reading both of them. Sometimes we forget how a small act of kindness can make us feel and how important that act is to the one receiving it. I wonder if the person was heading to his home maybe to be there when he died. I have known people who wanted to go home to die or go home one more time before they died. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Sara K
Login to Reply
Date: 6/22/2024 2:34:00 AM
Great choice Valsa, I am not sure which poem to write for this contest, but you chose wisely.. It beautifully captures a moment of human kindness and its rippling effects. It suggests that while the old man receives physical sustenance and emotional comfort, the speaker gains profound joy and a sense of fulfillment. The poem’s gentle rhythm, evocative imagery, and heartfelt narrative work together to underscore the beauty and significance of simple, compassionate actions in everyday life.
Login to Reply
Date: 6/22/2024 1:05:00 AM
A wonderful act of kindness you did for that old weary man Valsa, the world needs more kind folk like you… Beryl
Login to Reply

Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry