Goodbye, Good Riddance! (Co-Written With James Fraser)

With no toilet seats carelessly left propped up Oh, now I can be such a comfortable pup Please take your Playboys straight out that open door Then shut it quickly; I can take no more! Be gone with you, take all your shoes Your hairspray, make-up and your girly blues Three weeks of the month you loved me fair For the other week, I lived in fear MY shoes? Why you foul beast! Your odor eaters Didn't work! Your smelly boots rest in sewers Where they belong with that greasy hair goo That left ugly stains on pink pillows once new Your pants were too tight, I couldn't get them off I can now wear my own; no longer you'll scoff And as for your cooking my health has improved Your name on the rent book, phew! finally removed The credit card tab from your pub is gone now, too That hussy barmaid can deliver it to you And your shavings that clogged up my bathroom sink Will be mailed to your mistress fast as you can blink At least she knew how to look after a man In bed with you was like a flash in the pan At least barmaid Betty purred when this Highlander taunted She was sensuous, delectable and she knew what she wanted I'll remember you most when viewing pond scum You sure were a loathsome son of a gun I'm leaving this pit, too, so what the heck? I'll send a new address for the alimony check You'll get your money like you earned it before Dancing naked on the pole in the floor I took you in, clothed, cared and fed But it wasn't me that was in your bed