Freed

They say what 'happens, happens for a reason', perhaps to learn and unlearn whatever it is we feel we need to; prove; accomplish; experiment; fathom... I cannot change what happened no matter how hard I try. but I can change what happens next If only I could try. I know it's darkest before dawn I'm just hoping dawn quickly comes, before I lose myself in this alleged norm. I have known the feeling of being scared and at the same time being in love with it, having to tread on the very path I dread and yet love the frantic feeling it brings with it. perhaps, what consoles me is the sweet nothings I hear and recur when locked away in the galaxy of mind's fantasies that negates morality and adulterates the savour and succor it brings and breeds. How do I live with myself knowing I could have tilted towards the path that would have made things right? maybe I was too perturbed that the Other felt like a lover's grip in a broken state; too sweet to spit too comforting to resist, as I walked right through it into a disturbing Silence. I thought second chances were easy, I guess it is when one is on the receiving end yet still, I do not wish to cuddle with Regrets should I let the past remain past... and if it eats me away, how then have I lived? what happens, happens for a reason, though the reasons are sometimes never known, still, I pray this dawn comes lest I submerge into forever-moans for I do not know which is harder; loosing someone in death or friendship... my glad you walked away for I would never have let go...