Dead Beat

I used to blame myself For your absence in my life I thought maybe you didn’t love me Maybe I was right Your in my life always leaving without a care But i should expect that from a deadbeat A deadbeat who never cared about anyone Except maybe himself As your child It should be my instinct to love and forgive you But I don’t It was you self pity That made you leave me I’m 13 You’re 38 That’s not my fault You’re a grown man Isn’t that an irony I’ve had to take care of you When you should be taking care of me When have to be in adult dippers I will leave just like you did Because even thought 2 wrongs Don’t make a right Logic has left my mind I scream I’ve locked my self in the closet Am I bi Or trans Or straight Or boy Or girl Or all Or none Nobody gets it not even my mom The second you ban me From doing what feels right Is the second you’ve crossed that line You can’t half support You love me for all Or hate me for none Nobody speaks my foreign tongue It’s foreign to me too But I can make out bits and pieces They can’t This is what you caused You say I’m sorry baby I love you I say I love you none I will no longer hold my tongue These words are meant to fly They will be gone Faster than the wind I’m treated like By my mom By you By Brad The difference is YOU Are my ing dad You are supposed to be here Not snorting crack off Some random strippers ass I can’t bare the thought of you I don’t know the smell of you The feeling of you love But I do know it’s not warm It’s cold Kind of like the night When you scared me so bad puked The night you tried to run over mom The night your drug dealer punched me because YOU Made a remark then used me as a tool Either way he would’ve beat your ass This time though His punches landed on me I don’t love you You don’t love me