Broken Dream

BROKEN DREAM At any time in your life, did your dream of whom you wanted to be when you grow up came true? Or it did not and at this time in your life you are thinking what it could have been if you did. My dream when I was a little girl was to be a contemporary dancer, not a ballerina. Contemporary dance includes interpretive dance, lyrical dance and modern dance. My dream of being a contemporary dancer was so specific for I had the notion that I could dance different styles expressively with the belief I could emote every dance moves. When I heard music, the musicality in me came out and I always pictured myself on the stage dancing and emoting passionately to the rhythm and beat of the music. In my heart and in my soul, I knew I have a natural talent in dancing proven by always being chosen to dance and perform in front of big audiences in elementary and high school. To this day, I can always recall the snap shots I stored in my mind when I was the soloist of a balletic number choreographed by a ballet teacher, we performed in front of everybody in our town. I can still picture how I floated on the stage, twirling, turning, eyeing the three very little cans on the stage to tip toe on them, like a bird and the cue for the girls to catch and lift me in the air. I knew my dream of being a professional contemporary dancer would not materialize for where I grew up, the focus was more on academics, like professions in the medical field. Rather than developing the artistic talents for artistic careers were more expensive to pursue, with added time consuming private lessons and requiring transportation for rigid practices. Broken dream at sixteen was an adversity; but it did not break me as a person for I already knew the unfairness in our family realizing life moves on with ups and downs. My dream was broken; but it never left me for in my heart and in my soul I am a dancer. Yet I did not fully develop my natural talent, a requirement to be skilled and professional. I am now in my golden years and as soon as I retired; I picked up my broken dream and held it back in my heart for you can fix what is broken by adjusting or creating a nearly similar dream. I am never too old to dream and create new ones by reinventing and reimagining myself. That musicality still flows in my veins, ready to come out as soon as I hear and feel the music. When I dance in zumba, in ball room dancing, in dancing parties or dancing venues dancing free style, I’m dancing in a trance, feeling free expressing my moves with grace, authenticity. Oh, dancing with gusto and zest shows my joy, happiness and elation that I am told many times by people watching me that my happiness shows that they enjoy and are delighted watching me. Some ask if I am a professional dancer and I always tell them, “No; but I wish I am. I’m just a natural born dancer” with a chuckle and they smile at me with their thumbs up. My broken dream of becoming a professional contemporary dancer that I brushed off resurfaced after more than five decades and now it is up to me to create a new dream as an authentic dancer. 6/29/21 A Broken Person Poetry Faraz Ajmal