An Unholy Christmas Mash Up

The snow lay thick; the snow lay flat Upon my roof, a pitter pat A reindeer or an alley cat? Sure ain’t Santa… can’t be that For midnight came and midnight went So, clearly Santa wasn’t sent… Who pitter patters as they go Upon a roof that’s thick with snow It seems my Christmas gift this year Is gonna cost me very dear The sounds I hear need no debating Seems my roof needs insulating With my umbrella overhead I gazed up in a certain dread Upon my roof the snow still glistened But something hit me as I listened The sound had come from back inside I glared at my door - open wide With trepidation… and a frown I folded my umbrella down I viewed the crisp and even snow And now I wonder, did it know? For when I turned and stepped inside Reality took quite a slide. * The stairs took on an eerie air I forced my feet to step up there The pitter pat now loud and clear Instilled in me an awful fear I reached the landing unmolested And sensed a presence; interested The bedroom door, I always shut Was there ajar, which clamped my gut I tentatively pushed the door And there upon my bedroom floor A crimson pool refuelled by drops Of blood that fell from hatchet chops With that first glance I theorised It looked like something exorcised For there embedded in its head The crucifix that left it dead Translucent and devoid of hope It swung from a translucent rope And yet the blood still pooling there Was rich and red and set to scare I watched the rope begin to fray But then the ceiling hook gave way The phantom, landing with no thud Was swallowed up by its own blood Ripples as you might expect In any pool you recollect Radiate from any splash Today that notion seemed quite rash For though the phantom corpse was gone To comprehend what’s going on I gazed upon my bloodied floor But then a ripple… and a claw I dared not blink, I couldn’t run My brain and body were not one Somehow I knew it meant me harm The claw now five, became an arm Hoisting itself from the pool A demon creature set to rule Let me tell you, on the level I simply knew… this was the Devil But in no God do I believe No Devil, thus, could I perceive And yet that arm pulled forth a whole An entity that craved my soul And so I stood and watched it rise Forming still before my eyes It’s tail and horns confirmed it’s look Like something from a comic book So now I got to laugh out loud God, me and Devil? Three’s a crowd I made my choice and suddenly Many things were clear to me It stood there breathing smoke and stuff And I knew that I’d had enough I smirked at that demonic fella And ran him through with my umbrella I know not what came over me But something gave me eyes to see So what religion might I borrow I guess I’ll be in church tomorrow I’ll tell the priest who’ll glare at me He calls me ‘Mr Irony’ An atheist who tries to grapple With living in an ancient chapel