A Messa Solemness

Everyone is so quiet Up to this point Maestro S_______ has conducted Beethoven’s Missa Solemnis magnificently! But! At this point S___________ seems nervous And with good reason The next section is quite complex contrapuntal as hell In fact the orchestra has broken down several times in rehearsal But! S__________ is forever boasting He can pull an orchestra through anything At any time Any place The pause between sections is longer than usual MUCH LONGER! There isn’t a dry face or undergarment in the orchestra S________ knows it He pulls uneasily at the seat of his trousers He uses a balsa wood baton so light weight S_______ has spent hours shaping his batons “Dey are ballanzed poorfectly!” he says in his strong German accent He holds the stick down around his knees The LONGEST time At last……… With a gurgling triumphant leer He raises his arms abruptly But! The brittle baton catches his stand on the way up SNAP! The triumphant leer turns a horrible jaw drooping plum jelly! He clutches at the flying half of his balsa wood stick And His false vest rolls up like a window shade The orchestra takes his frantic unintended clutch for a down beat They PLAY!…….kind of ALL IS LOST!