Daver Austin Poet I do not know?

A Messa Solemness

Everyone is so quiet
Up to this point Maestro S_______ has conducted Beethoven’s Missa Solemnis
    magnificently!
But!    At this point S___________ seems nervous
And     with good reason
The next section is quite complex   contrapuntal as hell
In fact    the orchestra has broken down several times in rehearsal
But!    S__________ is forever boasting
He can pull an orchestra through anything
At any time
Any place
The pause between sections is longer than usual
MUCH LONGER!
There isn’t a dry face or undergarment in the orchestra
S________ knows it
He pulls    uneasily    at the seat of his trousers
He uses a balsa wood baton    so light weight
S_______ has spent hours shaping his batons
“Dey are ballanzed poorfectly!”  he says in his strong German accent
He holds the stick down around his knees
The LONGEST time
At last………
With a gurgling    triumphant leer
He raises his arms abruptly
But!    The brittle baton catches his stand on the way up
SNAP!
The triumphant leer turns a horrible    jaw drooping    plum jelly!
He clutches at the flying half of his balsa wood stick
And
His false vest rolls up like a window shade
The orchestra takes his frantic    unintended clutch for a down beat
They PLAY!…….kind of
ALL IS LOST!

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Andrea Dietrich August 19, 2014 at 5:43 PM by the way, I am telling you way over here. The last poem of mine you saw is a true story. the main character is my mother in law!!

Andrea Dietrich December 10, 2011 at 10:11 PM Here's an oldie I remember. This is a good one for the season! WAsn't this one you told me you were very fond of? Do you miss being in an orchestra? Ok, hurry up and get me unblocked, my friend! Luv, Andrea

Andrea Dietrich July 23, 2010 at 11:29 AM Oh how funny, DAver, True story??? (did ya get my juicy hotmail yet?)

Robert A. Dufresne December 23, 2009 at 5:57 PM fees like I was there! poor s__________ Great piece....(the write that is) :) -Robert

James Fraser June 28, 2009 at 5:16 AM Cool write Daver>>James

June 25, 2009 at 12:29 PM Thanks for the chuckle. The format of this poem is so creative. Thank you for sharing your talent with us and for your kind comment on my poem. Keep up the good writing. Karen

Corinne Curcio June 24, 2009 at 7:01 AM LOL! "All is lost!" How wonderfully you've told the story. Why couldn't he have turned Stokowski and used his hands? :-D

Heidie Buys June 22, 2009 at 11:42 AM You paint a vivid and hilarious picture. I agree with Carrie, reminds me of Mickey and Donald. Very well done, really enjoyed this one. Regards Heidie

Debbie Guzzi June 22, 2009 at 9:52 AM Ok I think I REALLY really enjoy this if I only new who S__________ is or was? LOL Light & Love

Barbara Gorelick June 21, 2009 at 8:40 PM Bravo! Funny and interesting write. Would have loved to been there..BG

Carolyn Devonshire June 21, 2009 at 10:59 AM I can just hear the symphony falling apart as they misinterpret the maestro's intentions. You can write in just about any style and on any topic, but I think these witty poems are a big hit here, Daver. "Animal Court" is one of the funniest things I've ever read -- and so in keeping with your unique sense of humor! Great work on this one, Master Violinist. Love you! Carolyn

Carrie Richards June 21, 2009 at 7:21 AM This reminds me of a Bugs Bunny cartoon (or some other Looney-Tune)....we used to watch with our kids. They often remind me that that's how they learned their first classical music...and believe it or not...the love of classical music stuck to this day...they associate "the Flying Dutchman" and other pieces with the antics of those silly episodes from Saturday mornings!!! :) Great job, Daver!!