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Yes, I must confess that I did that ish…
I watched as he crawled across the place
The bug-a-boo had the nerve to try and touch my face
With shillelagh in tow, I just knew he had to go!
I caught the angle where his many eyes couldn’t see
Yes, I was determined this would be the last time he’d bug me,
I’d ask for a stay of execution but what could I say
In this big ole bug-eyed world I was as guilty as…. Hey
Wait a minute; call for my chef, tell him to send everything on the menu
And tell him to make it a grand table setting fit for two,
Send me the best bubbly non-alcoholic of course
And two large fruit pies big enough to choke a horse.
Maybe even throw in some chocolate mousse.
Now, Warden Wilner and Goober--ner Fairhaven please be seated and feast
And listen to my story whilst you grease won’t you please.
You see, I was sitting watching a game with my dear friend cricket,
When the lord of the flies kept a buzzing in my ear ~
Obnoxious words I just could not bear to hear.
Yes, I confess his dialogue was quite wicked!
I first opened the door and bade him kindly to go,
But then he decided to put on a show…
I opened the window and he still would not budge,
I thought to myself what’s wrong with this bug!
Then he bit me, Oh it was on I would have rather he’d tried to hit me…
It was a crime of passion truly I tell you both
I bopped him with one swift yet mighty stroke…
Truly, I do not mean to offend, but that bite hurt so bad I hit ‘im again …!
I am not one to bribe, however I want out of this mess and that’s no jive!
Well, after much deliberation, such fine conversation and a fantastic meal
The Goober—ner Fairhaven and Warden Wilner shook hands and sealed the deal,
I’d be free before the morning ink on the parchment could dry
This knowledge was enough to make a poor soul cry…
Instead I got down on my knees and gave thanks for such an act
Could have found me on my way to being quite dead; Yes, I confess I did that ish!