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Below are poems written by poet Randy Johnson. Click the Next or Previous links below the poem to navigate between poems. Remember, Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth. Thank you.

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I went to the hospital and they said they were going to shove a camera up my ass.
I told them that I didn't want that to happen, I told them that I was going to pass.
But they said it was too late because I'd already signed the papers that allowed them to treat me.
But I didn't want a camera up my ass, I would've rather that they used baseball bats to beat me.
They shoved the camera up my ass and it went in deep.
It really hurt because the idiots forgot to put me to sleep.
I cussed those assholes out and they said that they didn't like my attitude.
But they disliked it even more when they had to pay me two million bucks after I sued.

(This poem is only half fictional. I really did have a Colonoscopy in 2010 and I'm having to have another one next week.)


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  1. Date: 5/29/2015 10:35:00 AM

    YAYYY for the anesthetic they use these days!!! Hope it comes back clear Randy :)