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Good Ole Yankee Advice

Don’t be fooled by purple crocuses
or sprouting daffodils – it’s an illusion.
They’ll be under a crust of snow by morning,
and the shovels you put away last month 
will have to be hauled out again.

Spring is a magician here in New England,
an expert with sleights of weather.
Don’t sigh; it could be worse. And it will.

After a day or two of warm weather and
blue skies, don’t be surprised by a nor’easter
of slamming winds and sheets of rain.
So much for forsythia and cherry blossoms. 

As for your laundry, which you forgot
to take in, it now hangs everywhere in trees
throughout the neighborhood. Congratulations, 
the town now has a new tradition – laundry trees!

As for the garden, those spinach and radish
seeds – all bogged down in mud and water –
don’t fret. Try growing rice, it loves water. 
And you like Chinese food, anyway.

And don’t put those winter clothes away just yet
or those bed woolens – you’ll need them, too.
Spring temperatures often plummet well
below the freezing point, and a ferocious
hail storm is always an unwanted surprise. 
And, oh, be sure not to leave the cat or dog outside.
Hailstones often get to be the size of grandma’s
dumplings, only harder. And there’s nothing more
distressing than watching Tabby or Rover being 
knocked silly by pelting hailstones. 

And let’s hope you didn’t forget to bring 
the car indoors. The impact of large hail 
on a car’s exterior is as damaging as on
egg shells. Don’t have a garage, you say? 
No matter, the car will look like many others, 
so it won’t stand out as different or bizarre. 
You’ll be able to do your shopping as if nothing
happened...well, almost. If you can’t handle
the stares and giggling, try shopping at night;
you’ll have plenty of company.


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  1. Date: 12/18/2014 4:34:00 PM

    Now that's a good one!