BARRY
A young man was called Barry Kirk
On our farm for a while he did work
taught me how to catch fish
for the big one I'd wish
He indicated where trout liked to lurk
GEORGE
George financially now on the skids
Has fathered way too many kids
many girlfriends and wives
kid twenty nine now arrives
States no more with a blink of both of his eyelids
SURNAME MAGUIRE
A man with surname Maguire
Some children he wanted to sire
took a woman to bed
let's do it she said
Satisfied his burning desire
ANOREXIC
Anorexic she's poorly and thin
No muscle strength found from within
bent in the middle
whilst playing the fiddle
Her sister an identical twin
TATTOO
This man a tattoo on his tummy
Looked like the face of his Mummy
he never grew up
remains a young pup
Age thirty eight still sucks on a dummy
MILLIE
An unfortunate madam called Millie
Stood on the end of Tom's willy
he cried out in pain
don't do that again
It'll shrink even more when it's chilly
My daughter's joy: the barn.
Dresses up pets so they keep warm.
Animals are each given names.
Wordku: 5-7-5 words
AP: Honorable Mention 2025
my twin despises animals
I collect anything alive
she will not eat a tomato
I have some kind of tomato at every meal
She is an advocate of a political party I abhor
you would have to give me a lobotomy to vote for her candidate
my twin loves to cook and clean
I would rather hit myself in the head with a brick than clean
My twin has my laugh, my face, we are identical
We have the same hazel eyes, the same stubborn hair
I have her sense of humor, we both have joy
We get along in a special happy twin way
We love each other despite our differences
My favorite colors are yellow and orange
She has a house full of browns and grays
I have black lights, and fluorescent colors throughout my abode
We agree on bees
We want honeybees to survive
She had a bee house in her yard.
I saved a bee’s life last week; we are safe if we talk about bees.
Great T-rumposaurus meanus!
Adolph and Don share a genus
With teensy wiener
Was Hitler meaner
Or Trump with his weeny p-e-n-i-s?
Identical twins Marian and Vivian are sisters with flair
You might see them out in the San Francisco air
They are famous for their identical outfits for sure
Filling gawking children full of delightful wonder
when I research I sometimes stumble upon
interesting facts that intrigue me, that delight me
children of identical twins, their babies, their spawn
are genetically half-siblings;, this is how it can be….
their parent derived from one single DNA egg
that split into two people, fresh break, all frayed
intriguing if you are indeed an identical twin
which I am, so this fact was definitely a great big win
When finding your identical twin,
There’s always trial and error.
But I’ve taken a shortcut:
By looking into the mirror!
There go the Brown twins, the Brown twins.
Hey, Brown twin, want a ride?
Hey, Brown twin, how does it feel to see double?
He, Brown twin, do you chew Double Mint gum?
At first as a twin, you are a novelty.
You either like the attention or despise it.
I loved it in kindergarten but despised it in first grade.
In kindergarten we were smaller and got carried around by classmates.
Are you identical twins? The school teacher asked.
I am not impressed, slightly stuplified and aghast.
They are boy and girl twins, you idiot I want to say.
But I have used up all of my insult quota until next Wednesday.
Identical twins, they have a crisis
Look-alikes, neither is known for niceness,
Terry writes his poems
While his brother ho-hums,
And neither one has joined up with Isis.
An h/t Terry Flood's "Identity Crisis"
Written November 26, 2022
[Terry is one of the most humorous
writers on Poetry Soup.]
twins
labelled
misleading
identical
different ideas
diverse ideals
yes they live in the same house
they do not have the same sister
a liberal and a Republican
no two people are exactly alike
Being an identical twin means you do not have a name
For the first eighteen years of your life but keep your happy heart.
You are called “Hey, you, Twin!” or “Stone Twin!”
Except by your friends who are amazing and can tell you apart.
I could not wait to leave home, so I could wear my own stuff.
My identical twin wanted to dress identically, this was so tough.
I could not wait to get out the door and be called my own name.
I did not tell anyone I had a look-alike, who looked exactly the same.
Now we are older, and we get a kick out of dressing alike.
It takes us hours of deciding, because we can rarely agree.
I like clothes with words, a motto, or moral, or a monster on a hike.
My twin likes to wear florals, old people clothes that irritate me.
We have a twin laugh that is creepy. Our whole family rolls their eyes.
This laugh starts out loud but after a while turns silent, which is cool.
Silent laugh, our children say, not understanding or able to surmise.
That twins have a sense of humor that follows no sense or rule.
When you have a thin identical twin
And you are the heavy one,
on your way to the largest weight number of your life,
it makes you want to eat.
I am an emotional eater;
thus I stay away from my twin
Who has my face, and my mannerisms
but is fifty pounds heavier.
I am a lifetime member of Weight Watchers.
I lost sixty-four pounds once and kept them off
For two or three years.
Then one day I knew I wanted my chocolate.
And my sugar, and my peanut butter.
That was sixty-seven pounds ago.
I was exercising like mad during my two year healthy regime.
Not so much anymore. I sit in a chair now.
I ate six tins of cookies over Christmas break.
My dogs love me fat and sassy. I sit and think about food.
I am the mashed potato queen.
I dare not tell you how many of these I have eaten lately.
I know I am not healthy. But I am not ready to give up
My sugar, my potatoes, my beef and noodles, my breads,
My emotional eating is at an all-time high.
I know what I have to do. I am not there yet.
What you deem frivolous
Is often of utmost importance to me.
Difficult to believe
We were raised by the same parents.
I answer to all names.
Lee, Charming, Hey You, Auntie Squeak Cake
I am not particular now
having finally gotten over the identical twin thing
where I did not have a name for the first eighteen years of my life
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