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You Make Me

Aisha Alansari Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled You Make Me which was written by poet Aisha Alansari. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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You Make Me

Your eyes, your eyes, 
 make my stomach go butterflies.

 Your hair, your hair, 
 Makes me want to stare.

 Your smile, your smile, 
 makes me want to fly.

 Your words, your words, 
 makes me get all shy.

 Your style, your style, 
 makes me want you all mine.

 You, You, 
 make Me fly out of my shoes.

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  1. Date: 6/3/2013 4:43:00 AM
    Hi Aisha, This poem is very basic and misses the mark, try creating a theme with your poems and include a punch line near the end, it adds surprise to the poem, just a few hints to help you and you will turn out a better product, plus always proof read your material as sometimes they may contain errors, also you may want to change something in your poem, you have talent and it takes a while to become a great poet, that goes for everyone including myself, I have done more than 50 to date. John

  1. Date: 5/10/2013 1:05:00 PM
    Congrats on your win.

  1. Date: 5/10/2013 5:12:00 AM
    Congrats on your win. Rick

  1. Date: 5/9/2013 11:04:00 PM
    Aisha, thank you for impressing me with your awesome poem. Congrats ~SKAT~