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Winter has a face contest

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Below is the poem entitled Winter has a face contest which was written by poet Sabina Nicole. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Winter has a face contest

She wakes from a dream, dripping with tears of sweat pouring down her face.  Her long blonde hair is pasted to her forehead as she sits up in her bed.  The clock reads 3:03am.  Her heart is pounding rhythmically to the ticking of her wrist watch.  Her long legs that are wrapped in her white down comforter are extremely cold, and she realizes that a harsh draft is seeping through the window sill beside her bed.  As she pulls back the curtains to check the window for cracks in the ledge, her eyes grow wide with amazement.  The street lights reveal swirls of frosted confetti which overwhelm the pitch blackness of the night.  It has not snowed this hard since she was a little girl and suddenly the terror of her dream dissipates.  She jumps out of bed, slips on her purple fuzzy slippers, along with her matching robe and runs down the stairs.

The stars glisten
Illuminating shadows-
Icicles hang still

Her front door swings open from the harsh embrace of the wind and she manages to drift on to her porch.  Her foot prints smear the freshly painted deck but they are quickly filled up again by the urgency of heavens winter release.  Her eyes begin to spill like water falls and her rosy face along with the rest of her body goes numb. However, the arctic chill was worth it to her.  The last time she had seen her father was on a night like this.  He loved the snow and every part of its splendor reminded her of him. The howling in the air, the cold that cut through her pajama pants like a knife, the snowflakes the size of marshmallows and the cars that look like giant igloos.  Even the smell of the wood burning across the street in her neighbor’s fireplace all made her feel like her father was near. It was like heaven had stopped by to visit her this night.

By: Sabina Nicole
Contest: winter

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  1. Date: 2/12/2013 6:51:00 AM
    Great winning work..Congrats..I detest having those frustrating or scary dreams..Sara

    Nicole Avatar Sabina Nicole
    Date: 2/12/2013 10:42:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you, and yes me too.
  1. Date: 2/7/2013 10:46:00 AM
    Hi Sabin, Congratulations on your winning "mixed up poem." Have yourself a nice day~ :-) xox~PD

    Nicole Avatar Sabina Nicole
    Date: 2/9/2013 12:40:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you sweets!
  1. Date: 2/6/2013 10:06:00 AM
    Congrats on your win with this yearning haibun, Sabina.

    Nicole Avatar Sabina Nicole
    Date: 2/6/2013 1:28:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    thank you so much
  1. Date: 2/6/2013 8:52:00 AM
    My heart beat quickened while reading your verses and I had a cold shiver, lovely haiku too. Congrats on your win.

    Nicole Avatar Sabina Nicole
    Date: 2/6/2013 1:29:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    wow, thank you Debra. I am glad that you enjoyed it.
  1. Date: 2/6/2013 3:48:00 AM
    Big congrats Sabina xx

  1. Date: 2/5/2013 6:37:00 PM
    Such a touching write, I still have my Dad but Mom's passed..powerful! Congrad's on your win. Light & Love

  1. Date: 2/5/2013 4:30:00 PM
    I enjoyed this very much, congratulations.

  1. Date: 2/5/2013 2:57:00 PM
    Might I suggest bring the WHOLE write into the present tense? It will make it even more immediate and involving for the reader and mesh better with the haiku concept. [even though the haiku MOMENT is in the past we reveal it as if we were there in the MOMENT] It will not affect your rank it's just a thought..;) Light & Love

    Nicole Avatar Sabina Nicole
    Date: 2/6/2013 1:32:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    You may suggest whatever you like Debbie :) I truely appreciate it, I want to be a better writer and we all need the feed back and the help. I do struggle with this in my work and I am currently working on this is all my writting peices. thank you again for all your feed back, you are awsome!!!!!
  1. Date: 2/4/2013 10:27:00 PM
    Sabina, :-) Congratulations with your creative top featured poem of the week. Take care and have yourself an excellent time here on the soup... I know I sure am. * or should I say I will at least try. Always~ & ~ Forever*LINDA"

  1. Date: 1/27/2013 7:45:00 AM
    Ok my new friend Sabina, the haiku content is OK now just ..remove the capital letters and put a dash after line 2! Good work good thinking! [and haiku is typically UNDER 17 syllables and I prefer short/long/short layout, your haiku is traditional since it even uses a season word..YOU GO gal!] Light & Love

  1. Date: 1/26/2013 10:46:00 AM
    soup mail Light & Love

  1. Date: 1/25/2013 9:05:00 PM
    Sabina you entered this into the Mix It Up contest if you want it there we need to work on your haiku. Let me know. Light & Love

    Nicole Avatar Sabina Nicole
    Date: 1/26/2013 7:57:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    yes I do. please send me feed back asap