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Why So Painful?

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Below is the poem entitled Why So Painful? which was written by poet Aleera Canino. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Why So Painful?

I stand, utterly hollow and alone.
 Staring and wondering if he'll phone.

Why is it he has this hold over me?
 Why can't he just leave me be?

One minute, I think I'm over him, 
 then all those thoughts and feelings begin.

The biggest part of me knows we can't be together, 
 but then I remember, we vowed it was to last forever.

I think of the name calling, and him being so vile.
 Then here comes the happy memories followed by bile.

My throat burns, from the bile and from the pain.
 A lump, stuck there as the tears fall like summer rain.

How does one get over the hurt and betrayal?
 He's nothing at all like his first portrayal. 

I thought he was loving, kind, and an honorable man.
 Was his facade all part of some cruel, sinister plan?

How can you ever put your heart out there again?
 I can not begin to tell you how heart wrenching its been. 

I feel sorry for him, that he has to put me down.
 Its the only way he can make himself feel renown.

I just wonder when the pain will start to subside.
 I truly don't know how much longer I can stay on this ride. 

One part of me still loves him, for I am still his wife.
 The other part, can not keep putting myself through the strife.

A husband and wife are expected to go through dissension.
 Love shouldn't have to be this hard though, its too much tension.

How do you say good-bye to a man you love and equally hate?
 I never thought I would feel the love I have for him abate. 

I fear a divorce is in order, as I do not feel he will ever change.
 Its not like for the last two years we haven't been estranged. 

I wish I could say that I want to wish him all the best.
 But I don't since he's left this ragged, raw hole in my chest.

I know that's not the ladylike way to be.
 However, you have no idea what he's done to me.

I once tried to see the best in people, and love fierce.
 Well, with his coldness, my heart did he pierce. 

I can only hope to one day, heal my broken heart.
 He should be ashamed, for tearing my faith in love apart. 

But I forgive him for all that he has ever done.
 You see, it is I who will be the bigger and better one.

I only hope I can one day try my hand again at love.
 And I hope its him that I will no longer be thinking of

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  1. Date: 4/9/2009 5:12:00 PM
    This is amazing, I lovedd it! n I truly believe cindy needs to read some of these wish i could say this one to her... "I wish I could say that I want to wish him all the best. But I don't since he's left this ragged, raw hole in my chest. I know that's not the ladylike way to be. However, you have no idea what he's done to me." but yeah i love this babe<3

  1. Date: 4/9/2009 3:26:00 PM
    this is great!....n I looove the flows well n u just keep holdin on to that will com n smiles Maryam~

  1. Date: 4/9/2009 10:11:00 AM
    I am very proud of you! I know that you will love again it is who you are!!! Who knew we married the same evil? We will lose them and find better....There is someone who will see the kind hearted person you really truly are and who will heal your broken heart... I promise

  1. Date: 4/9/2009 3:02:00 AM
    ....You know I have sincerely and truly been wanting to get back to "Your Talented Self"~For I truly love Your writings which I have seen!!!:):)~So I believe that I shall make it a joyful habit henceforth~to do so at least once a day~until I have read Your entire book!!!:):)~"Love & Warmth Always To 'You & Your Loves,' John!!!:):) Bye ~

  1. Date: 4/9/2009 2:56:00 AM
    "Hello Gifted & Precious Aleera!!!:)~What a very stirring and compelling write dear lady~causing ones heart to extend itself deeply unto Your own~with hopes that love and happines shall soon fill heart and soul once again!!!?:):)~This was an absolutely profound, expressed and well written write Aleera~Excellent~even amid the sadness!!!:):)....cont....

  1. Date: 4/9/2009 1:46:00 AM
    Nice ending Aleera, keep holding on to that hope...Raul