Why So Painful?
I stand, utterly hollow and alone.
Staring and wondering if he'll phone.
Why is it he has this hold over me?
Why can't he just leave me be?
One minute, I think I'm over him,
then all those thoughts and feelings begin.
The biggest part of me knows we can't be together,
but then I remember, we vowed it was to last forever.
I think of the name calling, and him being so vile.
Then here comes the happy memories followed by bile.
My throat burns, from the bile and from the pain.
A lump, stuck there as the tears fall like summer rain.
How does one get over the hurt and betrayal?
He's nothing at all like his first portrayal.
I thought he was loving, kind, and an honorable man.
Was his facade all part of some cruel, sinister plan?
How can you ever put your heart out there again?
I can not begin to tell you how heart wrenching its been.
I feel sorry for him, that he has to put me down.
Its the only way he can make himself feel renown.
I just wonder when the pain will start to subside.
I truly don't know how much longer I can stay on this ride.
One part of me still loves him, for I am still his wife.
The other part, can not keep putting myself through the strife.
A husband and wife are expected to go through dissension.
Love shouldn't have to be this hard though, its too much tension.
How do you say good-bye to a man you love and equally hate?
I never thought I would feel the love I have for him abate.
I fear a divorce is in order, as I do not feel he will ever change.
Its not like for the last two years we haven't been estranged.
I wish I could say that I want to wish him all the best.
But I don't since he's left this ragged, raw hole in my chest.
I know that's not the ladylike way to be.
However, you have no idea what he's done to me.
I once tried to see the best in people, and love fierce.
Well, with his coldness, my heart did he pierce.
I can only hope to one day, heal my broken heart.
He should be ashamed, for tearing my faith in love apart.
But I forgive him for all that he has ever done.
You see, it is I who will be the bigger and better one.
I only hope I can one day try my hand again at love.
And I hope its him that I will no longer be thinking of
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