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Who Dunnit

Carrie Richards Avatar Carrie Richards - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Who Dunnit which was written by poet Carrie Richards. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Who Dunnit

I'm squirming in my chair of oak
with narrow arms, and folks lined up
in two long rows of growing thirst
and hunger for a breath of air

Like sardines in a can of worms
we are strange, unlikely shipmates torn
between one lawyer's  limped  plea --
the other shark who disagrees

Gray flannel suit, the stiff white shirt
with slicked down hair,  accusing words
persuading few with his hot air
The black suit spews his declaration 
a quite contrary explanation

Until my mind is torn in two
and in a room we must decide
Confined inside, a dozen votes
where six say yay, six more say nope

We're hanging by thin rope  for days
and word has spread, the judge has spoken 

He has finally coped with deadlocked folks
But sternly looks a bit provoked
We sit there like a row of stones
of wounded souls.  We are excused!
Declares a mistrial........what a joke!

The accused is sitting, poker faced
I think I saw a guilty trace?
(Or innocence,....a tell-tale trace?)

We grope for keys, and leave our thrones
And as I'm walking out the door
No longer needed any more
The task was more than we could gnaw
A stale-mate 'cause the case was flawed?
I pass the one who's been accused

I'll just ask him, frankly, as we withdraw.....

               "Pardon, sir, did you break the law????" 

For Poetess Darkly's Contest: "Pardon me, but did you just.....??"

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  1. Date: 12/15/2013 2:31:00 AM
    I like it a lot! Truly good poem, and I wish the best! 7 G.

  1. Date: 12/14/2013 11:11:00 AM
    Wow Carrie - You nailed it with this one. Very suspenseful and the need to be sure (or right) in that last line is so real. love, Kathy

  1. Date: 12/13/2013 8:01:00 PM
    Carrie Awesomely written. Best, chuck

  1. Date: 12/13/2013 1:04:00 PM
    I like where you took that line. Very unique. And.."Who Dunnit?" that.

  1. Date: 12/13/2013 12:22:00 PM
    Tremendous!!!!!!!!! This needs to be a part of some Murder Mystery Dinner or something. Love this! =D

  1. Date: 12/11/2013 10:36:00 PM
    I don't want to be iin anyone s shoes who.have to take a vote against somebody.Innocent or guilty?So hard decisiions for one to take.I guess conscience plays a big role there.Hope this situation is fiction dear Carrie..I love how your mind works making unique ideas blioom.Excellent dear.

  1. Date: 12/11/2013 5:23:00 PM
    wonderful! you've taken this contest to another level with this excellent write...

  1. Date: 12/11/2013 3:59:00 PM
    amazing how you came up with that one from that one little line. I doubt I will do this one. I fully expect to see this one a winner.

  1. Date: 12/11/2013 3:52:00 PM
    Wow, Carrie.....your talent really shines through on this write!!! I'd hate to be part of a jury, but I do so love movies with courtroom scenes....Cruise blew me away in A Few Good Men. Great write. Good luck on contest.