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Troubled Mind Rages

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Below is the poem entitled Troubled Mind Rages which was written by poet Sandra Adams. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Troubled Mind Rages

as the moon rises
mimicking the high-noon sun
the air thickens

and cuts
through life
in bits and pieces
like light through fog.

screams echo
down lonely town streets
as cement makeshift sky
reflects the sun
hours before its own rise

and wishes of help
blow cold
on a windless night;
a gasp of breath
rises and dissipates
like steam from nearby asphalt
as eyes close 
one last time.

(this was about a murder, in the town I live, where these things don't happen... the man murdered his step daughter before dawn people heard her screams and couldn't see his knife but by time they got there it was too late, and he then turned the knife on his wife as she tried to flee in the car)

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  1. Date: 10/2/2013 6:52:00 PM
    Thank you for the footnote as it makes the poem even more chilling. The scene you painted carries the theme well. Disturbing actions from depraved minds.

    Adams Avatar Sandra Adams
    Date: 10/2/2013 7:08:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you Karen for your kind words, where have you been lately? hope all is good :)
  1. Date: 10/2/2013 5:22:00 PM
    wow, jack is right, This sure is a chilling one. i am not sure I would have realized there was a murder committed without seeing your footnote but the mood of sadness was really strong. I love the line about cement sky before sun's rise. YOu have sure been busy with good poems lately. Sorry I can't take more time to see the others. I'm getting behind here. Did I answer your last email. Can't remember!!!

    Adams Avatar Sandra Adams
    Date: 10/2/2013 7:06:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    it's all good Andrea...I know you are busy, I too wish I had more soup time, it seems time flies by a bit quick for my likings.. thank you for your kind comment :) I can't drive by that part of town without thinking about it, and I used to talk with that man often at a store I worked at in the evening ...scary!
  1. Date: 10/2/2013 4:39:00 PM
    This was chilling, even before I read the explanation. Very intense... Jack

    Adams Avatar Sandra Adams
    Date: 10/2/2013 7:07:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    thank you Jack, your kind comments are appreciated :)