Do you ever find yourself starving
eating the words you just said.
Or that thing you did,
that makes you hang your head in shame.
This is my reality!
I never wanted my life to turn out this way.
Had things not slip from the track I placed us on,
you’d never been gone.
Course maybe I’m wrong.
Things could have been destined for failure all a long.
In that case I was screwed either way.
Yet that doesn’t ease the pain,
that I face on a day to day basis.
I miss looking in the mirror at our faces.
Their are those times when all my thoughts are gathered.
Placed in one small unit.
Their shut off to hear your laughter.
is the only conversation I’m after.
I could be struck dead in that moment,
and know I died happy.
Maybe this is the best thing that could happen for me,
I’m scared of a complete loss of you.
I’m like a baby boy,
still needing to be held & feed then tucked into bed,
a sweet dream and a kiss on the forehead.
I’m beginning to think I never was alive,
till this moment.
I cringe at those thoughts that put me where I am today.
I think about you crying,
or those times we fought,
and this puts me in a sad way.
Especially those times you begged me to stay.
Now I walk for miles in those shoes,
begging just the same.
Everyone around can see,
This is coming in 10 fold.
Teaching me what it feels like not to have the one you love
If this were a card game Id understand why you’d fold.
Playing these cards to bold.
Right now I’m in the darkness, butt ass naked and cold.
You’re looking down to say
How’s this feel Jay?