Things That Go Bump In the Night
Things That Go Bump In The Night
Outside in the dead of night
In boxers, with a bat
Something gave the wife a fright
My guess, The neighbors cat
I'll just take a look around
I step onto the grass
Ocean breeze, plus cold wet ground
I'm freezing off my as*
Just three feet into the yard
I trip on unseen toys
With a CRASH I go down hard
and make WAYYY to much noise
Cut a toe, and skin both knees
I shout one dirty word
Followed by "God, if you please"
"I pray that no one heard"
Lights go on all down the block
The neighbors step outside
Heard by all, OH That's a shock
"Thanks God, oh I'll just hide"
Every place I hope to fit
I just can't squeeze behind
Stepped in something smells like sh**
I'm half out of my mind
With that thought I turn to flee
And how? I still don't know
Find myself up in a tree
With all of them below
Muddy Bloody Boxers ripped
My neighbors all around
That's the moment when I slipped
And struck the muddy ground
Someone says "I think it's Rick"
I say "I can explain"
Truth is most still think "I'm Sick"
The other half "Insane"
I still blame my wife of course
But she just shakes her head
Nothing short of Deadly Force
Now gets me out of bed
Copyright © Kenneth Gentry | Year Posted 2013
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