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The Wraiths Tale

As a young girl Barbara Ann’s thoughts were given to finding a love so true, Then one day she thought that she’d met the man to whom she’d say I do. And so she gave her heart away along with her body and soul, But when the time came for them to wed her heart had a gapping hole. For he had abandoned her at the altar for all the world to view, It was there she uttered a curse that was aimed at you know who. “If ever he should stay at a place for more than even a single day, A fire will burn that place to the ground and send him on his way.” Then she raised a knife to her breast and deprived the world of lasting beauty, And haunting the man who’d broken her heart became her eternal duty. Take heed of this tale all you men who play loose with a woman’s heart, Pledge your love and keep it well when e’er pierced by Cupid’s dart.

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Rascal Jones

Date: 3/23/2012 9:14:00 AM

Well-struck rhyming couplets, Tony (rather long), that speak a sad tale of romance gone bad and pain that no one would wish on a hopeful young bride...somewhat, in the vein of Edgar Alan Poe's work, in that she killed herself over dark pain caused by her lover's abandonment. I really enjoyed the imagery you painted with your words, and how deeply they touched...the touch of a true artist. Take a look at the spelling of "gapping"..perhaps, "gaping"? Only hint I might offer to help would be to break your lines into more easily read and followed 4-line quatrains. Thank you, my fine poet friend, for sharing your unique craft! Rascal

Lizzie Treetop

Date: 1/3/2012 3:16:00 AM

Wise advise, wise advise hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

Elizabeth Wesley

Date: 1/2/2012 8:57:00 PM

Wish I could be a man for a year and see what makes them tick. Are men capable of the depths and terrors a woman feels when they treat the emotional angst a woman feels so lightly? You touch on it with wisdom.

Bl Devnath

Date: 1/2/2012 9:48:00 AM

Sad write I have read. All men are not the same and all women too, but women are always have much soft corner in their hearts, so their love should be kept reserved and safe. If they are not, most of men will become mad. She taught a good lesson, I think. Thanks for sharing. bl