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the trade

The Situation Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled the trade which was written by poet The Situation. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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the trade

my love shines on you
a spiritual exchange
desire shines on me

give yourself to me
you can have anything you want
except your freedom

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  1. Date: 9/6/2012 11:40:00 AM
    Excellent piece. Line 5 the word 'anything' counts 3 syllables and this makes the line counts 8 syllables rather than 7. I can suggest you change it to read 'all things'. I enjoyed the read

  1. Date: 4/11/2012 6:30:00 PM
    'freedom's just another word for nothin left to lose.' I'll keep what I ain't got. Like the haiku, though.

  1. Date: 3/16/2012 7:33:00 PM
    Yes, that is true for a couple is forever tied together..They can never be free of the other..Enjoyed reading this eve..Sara

  1. Date: 2/7/2012 1:46:00 PM
    Freedom is found in you.

    Situation Avatar The Situation
    Date: 2/7/2012 2:47:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    you've got that freedom too. you just see it in me.
  1. Date: 1/26/2012 5:08:00 PM
    I like this one , but agree with Arild here "if I could only keep my freedom" I especially like the first in the set.

  1. Date: 1/13/2012 1:37:00 PM
    A very passionate exchange,TS..if I could only keep my freedom;-)

  1. Date: 1/12/2012 5:11:00 PM
    hmmm...I'm not sure about the last line..but I like the rest lol Kind of dominant is what I read...perhaps not intended.

  1. Date: 1/12/2012 8:49:00 AM
    A thought provoking one TS. Eliot?? Smile. Agape, Moses

  1. Date: 1/11/2012 4:35:00 PM
    the way it should be done!!!

  1. Date: 1/11/2012 5:47:00 AM
    OOH the cost of freedom is the exchange mmm Well done, T.C

  1. Date: 1/11/2012 5:37:00 AM
    Thank you for comment on my poem! My love shines on YOU! :)oxox Anne-Lise

  1. Date: 1/10/2012 5:11:00 PM
    5 7 5 - both of them - Alright! Peace & Love Matthew Anish

  1. Date: 1/10/2012 4:49:00 PM
    This is great Situation! Like Susan said, cool boomerang effect! I'm quite impressed!

  1. Date: 1/4/2012 6:49:00 PM
    like a boomerang effect? very cool :)

  1. Date: 1/4/2012 5:54:00 PM
    Short and sweet when desire conquers all. Love your ku my friend, I find them very difficult but you make it look so easy.! :)

  1. Date: 1/4/2012 4:51:00 PM
    emotions excellently captured dear poet... so short yet so meaningful.. thanks for sharing ..Love Maryam

  1. Date: 1/4/2012 3:15:00 PM
    Very passionate write in just a few short words..Sara