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The Trade

my love shines on you a spiritual exchange desire shines on me give yourself to me you can have anything you want except your freedom

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Khalid Darwish

Date: 9/6/2012 11:40:00 AM

Excellent piece. Line 5 the word 'anything' counts 3 syllables and this makes the line counts 8 syllables rather than 7. I can suggest you change it to read 'all things'. I enjoyed the read

Joann Grisetti

Date: 4/11/2012 6:30:00 PM

'freedom's just another word for nothin left to lose.' I'll keep what I ain't got. Like the haiku, though.

Sara Kendrick

Date: 3/16/2012 7:33:00 PM

Yes, that is true for a couple is forever tied together..They can never be free of the other..Enjoyed reading this eve..Sara

Elizabeth Wesley

Date: 2/7/2012 1:46:00 PM

Freedom is found in you.

The Situation
Date: 2/7/2012 2:47:00 PM

you've got that freedom too. you just see it in me.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 1/26/2012 5:08:00 PM

I like this one , but agree with Arild here "if I could only keep my freedom" I especially like the first in the set.

Debra Squyres

Date: 1/12/2012 5:11:00 PM

hmmm...I'm not sure about the last line..but I like the rest lol Kind of dominant is what I read...perhaps not intended.

John Freeman

Date: 1/12/2012 8:49:00 AM

A thought provoking one TS. Eliot?? Smile. Agape, Moses

John Loving Iii

Date: 1/11/2012 4:35:00 PM

the way it should be done!!!

Brenda Victoria Northeast

Date: 1/11/2012 5:47:00 AM

OOH the cost of freedom is the exchange mmm Well done, T.C

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 1/11/2012 5:37:00 AM

Thank you for comment on my poem! My love shines on YOU! :)oxox Anne-Lise

Matthew Anish

Date: 1/10/2012 5:11:00 PM

5 7 5 - both of them - Alright! Peace & Love Matthew Anish

Natalie The Rogue Rhymer

Date: 1/10/2012 4:49:00 PM

This is great Situation! Like Susan said, cool boomerang effect! I'm quite impressed!

Black Eyed Susan

Date: 1/4/2012 6:49:00 PM

like a boomerang effect? very cool :)

Elizabeth Wesley

Date: 1/4/2012 5:54:00 PM

Short and sweet when desire conquers all. Love your ku my friend, I find them very difficult but you make it look so easy.! :)

Maryam Jameela Haniff

Date: 1/4/2012 4:51:00 PM

emotions excellently captured dear poet... so short yet so meaningful.. thanks for sharing ..Love Maryam

Sara Kendrick

Date: 1/4/2012 3:15:00 PM

Very passionate write in just a few short words..Sara