The Shroud

I see it The shroud Hovering above me Before I saw its gauzy whiteness I felt it presence Hanging there Now…. I see it As it descends And I close my eyes And lie still Unable to run away Or to move As unseen hands Enshroud me Layer upon layer Wrapped around my soul Immobilizing my thoughts My feelings My joys And my dreams My desires Silence I’m enveloped in the silence The only sound Is a requiem for the dead That plays in my head As I lay entombed in my room No point in struggling My arms feel like lead My emotions dead I wait…. I wait… For unseen hands To free me Again I don’t know how long it will take This time…. A few hours A day A week I am helpless The shroud Embracing my nakedness Feigning protection And love And comfort Lulling me to sleep And yet I know It is sinister Sapping my strength And vitality Whispering lies As it caresses me And squeezes me ever tighter “Better to stay in my embrace The world out there is cruel Unkind Unloving Here…here enveloped in me No need to worry To struggle To try To dream Just lie back into my sweet nothingness.” Tears wet the part of the shroud Lying against my face This shroud named depression That is claiming my life Slowly..but surely I exhale Wondering if it is my last breath Wondering if they will miss me Longing to be free Yet feeling secure Life IS too difficult…it’s true Too much pain Perhaps if I just close my eyes And stop breathing It will all go away And my shroud will be My forever covering... Eileen Manassian Ghali