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The Rescue metamorph

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Below is the poem entitled The Rescue metamorph which was written by poet Mandy Tams The Golden Girl. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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The Rescue metamorph

 Oh the tears from the child as her dolls hair is caught in the spindle
Her little face awash as she tries to rescue it 
The little rag doll, her only friend was whisked away so fast so cruel
The spinning wheel stops to her delight, her tears dry and a smile returns as her
doll is eased out of the spun thread on the spindle. 
 The time it took seemed as long as the sands dropping through the hour glass on her grandmas table, timing the spinning thread as she teases the wool apart, then spinning the spindle to collect the spun yarn, but the rescue is complete, the doll returned unharmed, the child restored to good humour, as grandma frowns a little as the last grains drops into the glass before it is turned to start again, Her money will be short but her granddaughter is happy so therefore is grandma.

The Rescue Metamorph from free verse to rhyme 

The squeal from the wheel as the knitted hair is caught within
Horror strikes at the child and tears course down her chin
A rag doll her only friend caught in grandma’s spinning wheel
Pulled from her arms, but tugging at her heart she can feel

Grandma stops teasing wool, the wheel she stops spinning
Her granddaughter’s tears have her own eyes full to brimming
The sands of time through the glass dripping their next meal away
But grandma rescues the doll so her granddaughter can play
© 5/04/2013 ~GG~

Contest Entry.

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  1. Date: 5/1/2013 6:00:00 PM
    Mandy, Congratulations :-) In Debbie's "Metamorph" contest. always~ PD

  1. Date: 4/29/2013 1:53:00 PM
    Congrats on your great winning work..Sara

  1. Date: 4/27/2013 1:49:00 AM
    Thank you Mandy for your kind words on my poem.This was an interesting contest congrats on your win therein.Rgds Brian

  1. Date: 4/26/2013 12:14:00 AM
    Congrats on your win... Well done~A.O

  1. Date: 4/25/2013 6:52:00 PM
    Really an interesting story Mandy love them both :D congrats on your big win :D wishing you a lovely day there :D hug, Yanny

  1. Date: 4/25/2013 4:20:00 PM
    This is so good Mandy, I have to admit I am definately drawn to the free verse although the rhyme is very well written.

  1. Date: 4/25/2013 3:39:00 PM
    What a story I just loved it. #1 is Prose Poetry Goldie, and #2 is polished to perfection. Congrad's on your win. Light & Love

  1. Date: 4/25/2013 12:34:00 PM
    I love this Mandy---keeps you on the edge of your seat!!

  1. Date: 4/25/2013 11:46:00 AM
    congrats on a fine win Mandy....

  1. Date: 4/25/2013 9:39:00 AM
    Oh a deserved winner here Mandy, not that i'm surprised,, just happy to see debbie also agrees...

  1. Date: 4/25/2013 8:58:00 AM
    Very touching poems. Love it! Congrats on your win, Mandy. Love, Su

  1. Date: 4/8/2013 10:49:00 PM
    my dearest golden angel... how are you ? enjoyed so very much your beautiful poem <3 much lov and hugs <3 Sk

  1. Date: 4/7/2013 2:22:00 PM
    Mandy back for a re-read, haven't seen you in ages are you ok?....David

  1. Date: 4/7/2013 10:00:00 AM
    Yup yup..I liked the rewrite too, I hope you enjoyed doing it, it sure seems so! Light & Love

  1. Date: 4/7/2013 8:51:00 AM
    I am with Harry on this one. I loved the first one. I don't even recall that i saw this one before. Yet you did a wonderful job with the rhyming version as well. I liked the succinctness of the rhymed part and yet the fullness of the experience was better portrayed by the prose part. this is a very good entry for Deb's contest, Mandy! (and my favorite among those spindle poems I was seeing for some other contest).

  1. Date: 4/6/2013 10:23:00 AM
    I love the free verse of this wonder, yet your prowess of being the Royal Rhymester of soup shows through here, and yes the result is truly awesome....

  1. Date: 4/5/2013 4:53:00 PM
    Great work..Reads like winning material to me..Thanks for stopping by...It rained really hard Wednesday night and turned back cold here but the spring plants are still blooming and the pollen is super bad right now but winter is past..Sara

  1. Date: 4/5/2013 1:44:00 PM
    HA...I just realized what I wrote is half french and half spanish...told you it wasn't the best...hehe. Classic!

  1. Date: 4/5/2013 1:41:00 PM
    Perfect for the contest, Mandy...good ole Grammy saves the day! Je suis bienvenido a tu casa, aussi?...ha...ok, my french isn't the best.

  1. Date: 4/5/2013 12:58:00 PM
    Mandy that is really clever, well done...David

    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl
    Date: 4/5/2013 1:11:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks David xx