The Plague
After countless hours of thought,
of looking at myself
through a microscope.
Dissecting the issues and problems
I see in myself.
I conclude that I am not more
than a corrupted man.
My mind wanders,
filled with despair and darkness.
My heart voided,
the passion I had removed.
I am not good for anyone,
I am not worthy to be in
the public's presence.
It would be better to ignore me
than to give me attention.
Maybe then I will see that it is me
that has the problems.
Issues I can only see,
after the fact of embarrassing myself.
Affecting everyone around me,
like a virus.
The room becomes grey,
a little more pessimism,
darker still.
Maybe I could blame how I was
treated for countless years.
Maybe I could find some reason for
the way I am now.
But here I am,
after everything
is said and done.
My outcome is everything I wish
it wasn't.
I do not want to be who I once was,
I do not wish to corrupt anyone else,
or to allow myself to affect those
I hold dear.
I must contain this plague that
is within my heart.
Copyright © Jacen Cieno | Year Posted 2013
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