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The Mountain I Believed to Be Id

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Below is the poem entitled The Mountain I Believed to Be Id which was written by poet Carolyn Devonshire. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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The Mountain I Believed to Be Id

Across the valley
Stood the mountain I believed to be id
Two levels and a summit
Made it appear layered
Like first-dynasty pyramids

It would be a long climb
Step, stumble, slip,
Clutch and elevate my entire being

The valley’s simple green plants
Lived in symbiotic coexistence
With bees and ants
Nature nurturing nature
An embryonic journey
Between the Tigres and Euphrates

Such splendor might have caused me to remain
Many do
But I walked on

At the base of the mountain I paused
The summit hidden by a cloud ring
I looked back upon my Mesopotamia
Hailing its verdant simplicity
Questioning the summit’s worth

But uncontrollable curiosity
And unquenchable desire
Edged me forward

I climbed onto rocky soil
I stumbled as stones slipped ‘neath my feet
Reaching out to clutch a bush
I pulled upward

The first plateau ran before me as a brook
I peered into the pool of life
Finding amphibians, reptiles, fish
I waded
Ankles rubbing green algae
Creating eerie sensitivity
Slippery touch

The water cooled me
Thinning air brought calm
A sandy bottom soothed me

Such harmony might have
Caused me to remain
Many do

But above me
Within a mystical Saturnic cloud
Secrets of the summit beckoned
Edging me to elevate

Sweaty palms grasped a wild rose’s stem
Sharp thorns drew blood
My body fatigued, I cursed the climb
What marvels lay above the ring

The second plateau’s diversity thrilled me
Simple moss, brown rabbits
Deer with long, willowy legs
Hundreds of life forms
Gave me entrance
To Thoreau’s untouched paradise

The alluring cloud hung low above me
I questioned my destination
The second plateau’s oasis might have
Caused me to remain
Many do

But irresistible desire
Again edged me to step, stumble
Slip, clutch and elevate

I entered the cloud layer
Feeling hot and cold dancing vapor
The mountain I believed to be id
Swam under my feet

Perplexed, I muddled upward
Above the timber line
No trees, no grass
No plants, no animals
No life

Still I was curious for id
And took the final step

A cold granite peak
Amidst the grey moisture
Self-realization was achieved

I had seen all that was beautiful
But passed it by
The key to paradise was offered
Three times
Yet I had been a martyr to my own desire

I could not see
The valley, brook,
Or paradise of total life

I could see
Only myself
And I cried
For want of something beautiful

Copyright © Carolyn Devonshire

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  1. Date: 5/24/2012 10:22:00 AM
    Congratulations on your win with this wonderful write! Lori

  1. Date: 5/23/2012 5:34:00 AM
    Congratulations on your well deserved win in P.D.'s "Long Poem" contest Carolyn. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 5/22/2012 9:41:00 PM! Where have you hidden this beauty! Amazing! What a wonderful poem, Carolyn! I love it! It's going to my FAVs! Wow! So beautiful! Congrats on your win. Ruben.

  1. Date: 5/22/2012 8:46:00 PM
    "I could see only myself for WANT of something beautiful".Hmm...Beautiful and Nice piece,Carolyn.....Congratulations on your win....

  1. Date: 5/22/2012 2:52:00 PM
    Carolyn congrats on your win..David

  1. Date: 5/17/2010 8:19:00 PM
    Thanks for the comment! but your mountain overshadows mine. great poem.

  1. Date: 4/28/2010 6:47:00 PM
    I love the really feels like i am the one who traveled...great...^_^ v

  1. Date: 4/28/2010 5:31:00 AM
    Enjoyed this story telling and have a great day or morning. :):) also check out my new poetry.. A Vain Time Is Coming! :)

  1. Date: 4/20/2010 3:19:00 PM
    'To Thoreau's untouched paradise'...ah yes, I can surely identify! (as with all the rest)...You keep getting better and better my the 'id' of lost innocence and youth you refer too... I can relate to that too! (Or do I misinterpret?)...Deep and exquisite write nontheless! - Tim

  1. Date: 4/20/2010 1:00:00 PM
    very nice write--I am not a premium member, so I can't help with your questions earlier. Maybe things will iron out in a day or so since they are working on the site.

  1. Date: 4/20/2010 12:38:00 PM
    Carolyn..can u please check to see if your contest submissions are intact.. as all my entries have disappeared from my contest... cannot use Soup Mail to send this message..sorry...please let me know ...thankxxxx lu..Linda-Marie..

  1. Date: 4/20/2010 8:03:00 AM
    An inspiring write! So many times we pass by the nature under our noses in search of certain beauties further afield - so often forgeting those around us we need now search for.... It's good to be back again carolyn, thanks for your warm welcome back and appreciated comments... Kindest thoughts as ever, Anna-Marie.

  1. Date: 4/20/2010 7:08:00 AM
    In a beautiful journey, you are taking us all along with you. It was a joy ride meeting nature in its amazing and alluring beauty my friend. Great write and very well penned. I have posted a new poem God’s message to Man, Hope you would like it. Love and best wishes ...Ravindra .xx Carolyn Devonshire

  1. Date: 4/20/2010 6:52:00 AM
    Thankxxx Carolyn.. I do try to keep our State alive in many way as it gets lost in the shuffle of New York and PA... am proud to have lived here almost 20 years now and TV does frequent our area ..during the snowstorm of great proportion my home was featured on their evening news so we get lots of air play especially when the lights are up at Christmas ..they have contests here in the township with prizes and treats fro the winners... luv..Linda-Marie..

  1. Date: 4/20/2010 5:39:00 AM
    I have to disagree... I think you found something of GREAT beauty... for you are the child of a King. WEll done on the story. I am impressed, you have a very unique style. You captivate your readers. I wasn't sure what "id" was... kind of like a void you need to fill? I enjoyed this piece very much... yes, even the ending. - Kevin

  1. Date: 4/20/2010 1:30:00 AM
    A magnificent journey Carolyn, and I feel like I took it with you. Your deep sense of imagery and insight is beautifully expressed in this lovely poem. Blessings, Connie

  1. Date: 4/19/2010 11:38:00 PM
    thank you for your welcome blog comments Carolyn.Rgds Brian

  1. Date: 4/19/2010 2:26:00 PM
    This is epic, Carolyn, like an early life form has been incarnated without the "Still Small Voice." Probably not what you had in mind, but this is what comes to me. Love, daver

  1. Date: 4/19/2010 1:35:00 PM
    soup mail 2

  1. Date: 4/19/2010 12:28:00 PM
    Carolyn , what an EPIC !!! .. I never got to complete the " Boxer " parody . The song was too good , anyhow to deface it , with my effort .....