The Most Epic Day Ever

I arose from the confines of my chamber I decontaminated every outer component of my body I combed every delicate auburn lock of my hair I retrieved my pop tarts and broke my nightly fast I entered the minuscule area of my vehicular transportation device I awoke the quiet roads with the roar of my engine I arrived at my destination I infiltrated the frenzied cafeteria I stealthily ambled through the corridor, unnoticed I endured four accursed prisons of learning I fled the building I suffered the delay of the congested parking lot I retreated back to my colossal household I completed the horrid tasks assigned to me I devoured my hearty meal I buffeted the remote’s buttons until they complied I escaped back to my chamber I collapsed into the sweet solace of my bed I let the darkness take me away