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The Man Was Shot In the Head

The man was shot in the head The man stood up and talked about ethics and morality They shot him and ripped him apart and said it was his fault The study said he didn’t fit in So they had to kill him And took him down to the river and let him go Nobody was really happy about it But nobody cried either They said he was born this way Risking death for life Knowing many ways to die And hoping his friend still loved him Watching the sun go down Waiting for the morning to come Seeing the night as a dream And knowing when it’s over Someone told him to dance And truth ripped through him And he couldn’t go back And he was alone Like the power they gave him And the love they didn’t have He called himself intense Nobody knew how to help him The man was shot in the head On a Friday afternoon at the government center The air was still and the sun was shining Someone called out his name And said safety is his friend The truth was on his side He hoped his friend still loved him He turned around and they shot him in the head

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013




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Date: 3/23/2013 6:17:00 PM
Todd, Congratulations with your Featured Poem of the week. Wishing you the best this new coming week. Take care :-) Linda
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Date: 3/21/2013 7:49:00 AM
The intention is fine, the expression not too bad, but there is no melodic coherence, no flow and no rhytm, perhaps you didn't want to achieve any, but this way it just sounds like a narration.
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Todd Borstad
Date: 3/21/2013 10:05:00 AM
thanks for the feedback. Kind of was going for the reality approach of just saying it. thanks again and I will check out your poems for maybe an example of what you mean. Todd

Book: Reflection on the Important Things