The Clown Who Thought He Was King

There are moments you think that you have everything figured out, although the world around you has spun out of control and you feel that you have discovered the secret, like a scientist finding the complex pattern to chaos. And then something happens and you are confronted with the knowledge that you are wrong, which flings your world into a tail spin and you are left with your head reeling with questions and doubts and no answers. You question your existence your value and that throbbing question “What is the ****ing point of it all?” You feel like a deer in some one’s headlights, which feels like impending doom and you wait and wait for the evitable to end your suffering, but you realize that you are left with the feeling of dread as a constant companion. One moment you are on top of the world and you have all the answers at your fingertip and on your throne you are a position of supposedly total clarity and with a flip of a switch you are found wanting with only egg on your face, you are relegated to clown status with only the dream of being a king.