The Cellular Phone Conspiracy

It started around July of 2010, when my pink fakeberry started, digitally roaming in Boston's delightful city of literal human combustion. I gave it a moment when I returned to the town of my sojourning... August. September. School's here! and I can't communicate with my friends, with the one bar of service, I spontaneously receive only around the church, of my prior attendance. Should I sue? For all of the emotional distress, sheer frustration, and anger caused by who knows what technological phenomena! For all of the bridges that I would have seen this pink piece of plastic be projected from, and then pulverized into smithereens by unsuspecting traffic. For all of the bodies of water I would have submerged it in, until it's digital roaming would float, resting in pieces. I have been patient with you pink piece of plastic failure of a cellular communication device! *** Coming up next month the sequel: I love thee oh smart phone upgrade of the android variety***