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Sun Has Gone Down

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Below is the poem entitled Sun Has Gone Down which was written by poet Jessica Arteaga. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Sun Has Gone Down

The Sun
             has gone down
                                     The light
                                                   engulfed by dark
                                                                            could not warm me
                                          The last hand wanting
  stayed lingered in the air
 stayed sitting lonely
                                Watching the first wave goodbye
                                                                              that is
when my heart decided:
                                         Decisions shouldn't own me
I stayed there transparent
                                        and let the blackness shade me
Sitting on a revisited shoulder
                                       there new life contemplates me
washing eyes in night air
                                       The Moon shall serenade leads
will I follow is the answer
                                    I am stuck in hold me
Shallow and full of concentrated sighs
                                              in the mist of night
            my head could only sees
The Sun
           has gone down
                                and my heart still only bleeds

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  1. Date: 5/31/2011 10:12:00 AM
    "I stayed there transparent and let the blackness shade me"...very effective in this poem. Nicely done portraying the image of the sun fadding slowly. :)

  1. Date: 3/25/2011 7:50:00 PM
    love this poem......continue to write

  1. Date: 3/15/2011 10:30:00 AM
    I enjoyed reading your poetry this today Jessica. Have a wonderful week filled with good health, love, and lots of inspiration. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 3/15/2011 5:21:00 AM
    Massive emotion expressed here. The flow on this was quite unique. Well done!

  1. Date: 3/15/2011 4:58:00 AM
    Intense and dramatic lines u have creatively penned Jessica.. stunning imagery of the Sun and feelings interspersed throughout this piece.. so nice to hear from u and can relate to getting caught up here .. life is so very full of so many things.. Soup can grab all one's attention but in a positive way.. we all have to have balance..haha..hard to do .. hope u keep in touch my friend..

  1. Date: 3/15/2011 1:36:00 AM
    I like the poem, the words are nice. The shape sux LoL. Seriously, your stuff is good. The first one I read by you I hated...But the rest have been real chiLL. Not trying to be rude...I think it's cool when that kinda junk happens.

  1. Date: 3/14/2011 3:29:00 PM
    Jessica, I enjoyed this. Did you get the shape you wanted to appear doing it like this?