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Summer Grind Senryu

summer cruise
we park in the side road
and backseat grind

lifeloveseasonssenryu

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Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Date: 3/17/2010 5:21:00 AM

Effective imagery in this senryu, Hai Au. What about the zoo or a museum...I know, the library! Lovingly, Dane Ann

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 2/13/2010 1:55:00 PM

Ouuuuulaalalaaaa... Perhaps you'd like my Up Periscope? I love all thats' not said!

Carrie Richards

Date: 7/5/2009 9:56:00 AM

You put the fire under the soup, and warmed it up!! Congratulations on being among the Hot Poems this week!! Great job!! :)

Ashley Yates

Date: 7/5/2009 8:03:00 AM

Straight and to the point, I can imagine that very well very passionate.... Great write! Thanks for the comment!

Nicole Sharon Brown

Date: 7/3/2009 2:42:00 PM

Love it, great write !

Sue Mason

Date: 7/2/2009 7:52:00 PM

Well welcome to PoetrySoup Hai !! As you probably already know (but may have forgot ... smile) this is really a Senryu form as the Haiku is left for thoughts of nature and the Senryu is used for human behavior. And who hasn't participated in this ... LOL ... anyway, sorry if my school teacher is coming out and thanks so much for your comment on my writing! It was much appreciated.

Sara Kendrick

Date: 7/2/2009 5:09:00 PM

Interesting Haiku. Sara

Joanne Carty

Date: 7/2/2009 2:10:00 PM

cheeky! good write.

John Tanaskow

Date: 7/1/2009 3:42:00 AM

seems like she's already touched you. just her dancing is inconsistent. and she doesn't much listen to me.

James Fraser

Date: 6/30/2009 2:38:00 PM

Excellent write Hai>>James

Matthew Anish

Date: 6/30/2009 9:13:00 AM

Pretty poem - but I think ist is a senryu because it is not about nature. Sounds like agreat experience. Yours Matthew Anish

Sandra Hudson

Date: 6/29/2009 7:51:00 PM

Hello Hai, I liked your answer or comment to Kareena. About hearing in black and white. That was very clever as well! Check your syllable count in line two, I believe it has eight. Just take out I and it's perfect! Is that what they mean when they say moons over Miami?:))-AA

Alley Poe

Date: 6/29/2009 7:15:00 PM

What a beautiful feeling you have shown in this lovely haiku. Congrats! -Alley

Charlene Bird

Date: 6/29/2009 6:55:00 PM

Loving in the back seat down a country road, Oh! how this piece just takes me home! Loved it!

Lee Nguyen

Date: 6/29/2009 4:20:00 PM

haha turning the lights off the shower makes it all lok more romantic. cuz u use the moonlight in the window. gotta try it to see what im talking about. thanks for the comments.